A Fatal Secret
by KellylovesDylan
Summary: This takes place 9th season after Dylan and Kelly went to Mexico and slept together. What if Kelly had gotten pregnant then? How would Dylan react? Would he step up and be a father or run from commitment? Chapter Sixteen has been added. Finished!
1. Chapter 1 The truth is told

**This takes place after the Mexico trip ninth season.**

A fatal Secret

Chapter One: The truth is told

Kelly Taylor sat in the kitchen of her beach apartment listening to the rain fall into the window. It thudded in rhythm with her heartbeats. Her heart...why did it have to be so complicated? She was in love with two men; one forbidden to the world's eye and one perfect for society. Many nights she stayed up in the kitchen, in the same spot, drinking tea and dreaming. Kelly thought thoughts she wasn't suppose to think. She was suppose to be in love with Matt Durning...and she was...in a convenient sort of way. Then there was Dylan. She didn't know what she wanted with him and Dylan didn't know what he wanted with himself. The unfortunate part of all of it was how he excited her and made her feel so...so...alive. But most importantly he was the father of her unborn unknown child. A detail that hadn't passed her lips yet.

Dylan McKay lay awake in his bed. He could hear his roommate David Silver watching TV. outside. It was a Tom Cruise movie, Top Gun, and it was just to the point where Goose was about to die. It wasn't the TV that kept him awake; noise was something he had learned to live with though he hated it. What kept him awake wasn't his girlfriend and it wasn't his that passed away; thought usually that was the case. This time it was the blonde he fell for years ago; Kelly Taylor. He dreamed about her often and had been rejected by her in the past on more than one occasion. Why go down that road again? Why even dream of her? Ever since they slept together in Mexico old memories of their dating days flew back into Dylan's mind. He never let go. He could never let go of anything and now he was just being reminded of how lonely he truly was.  
Dylan was seeing Gina Kincaid, a brunette who was very petite and very strong willed. It was something she and Kelly had in common; about the only thing they had in common. He didn't love Gina and he knew that he never would or could if he tried. Deep in his heart he cared for Gina, but they were just having fun. Sooner or later the straw would break the camel's back and words of hate would fly from her mouth, then they would go their separate ways. Dylan knew the ending, but Dylan knew the ending of all love stories. He would be left alone feeling empty and in a daze; much like he was feeling now. At least he would have the memories and day dreams of the blonde that could never be his.

Kelly slept in late that morning which meant she would get to work late. She rushed into her best friend's store called "Now wear this." She found her friend Donna Martin ringing up a customer.

"There you are," Donna spoke exasperated.

"Sorry I'm late, you didn't wake me when you left the apartment," Kelly walked over to the register.

"I figured you were getting ready and I heard the shower going. It must have been Gina," Donna smiled as she finished ringing up the customer, "Thank you, have a great day."

"Right, Gina. A fun addition to the apartment," Kelly put forth a fake smile.

"I know, she's the devil, but what can you do?"

"I have an idea," Kelly started to go into detail but was quickly interrupted.

"Don't say anything! I don't need temptation," Donna heaved a sigh.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're too nice?"

"On more than one occasion, how are you and Matt doing?"

"Matt and I? I don't know; together. Working through whatever happened with us."

"His wife is what happened," Donna pointed out.

Kelly grabbed a pile of clothes and began to fold them.

"Kel?"

"What," Kelly didn't look p, she didn't want to think about Matt. If she thought about Matt she would think about Dylan and if she thought about Dylan she would think of their baby.

"Are you okay?"

Kelly put forth a fake smile, "Never better."

"I'm your best friend," Donna walked over to Kelly and applied her hand on her shoulder, "you can talk to me."

Tears started to form in Kelly's eyes as she quickly tried to fight them back, "Donna, things are complicated. I can't talk about it."

"If you can't talk about to e then who can you talk to?"

"Right here; right now, it's not the time or the place."

"Then we'll take our lunch hour. We're due for it right about now."

Kelly nodded her head; she couldn't keep this secret forever.

Channel surfing became a bore and the book was nearly finished. The waves were awful and Dylan was bored out of his mind. He couldn't get Gina to stop talking. They sat on the porch and once again she was going off on his lack of direction.

"Dylan, look all I'm saying is that if you applied yourself you could really make a difference," Gina had been riding Dylan's back for nearly fifteen minutes.

_ So? I'm different. What's right for one person is not right for another. What's right for you is not right for me_...Dylan would never say this, but he thought it. He didn't need another fight, but he didn't need another lecture either.

"Dylan, are you even listening to me," Gina waved her hand in front of his face frustrated.

"Yes, Gina, I'm listening. What do you want me to say? I own the After Dark...again...what do you want now, me to run for president? I don't think I'm exactly qualified."

No one understood his thoughts. They were unusual to other people. Dylan didn't want what other people wanted. The fact was he was still in search of himself, but the judgment he received was already brutal. He was and always would be branded as irresponsible and selfish, why fight what was inevitable at this point? Why add fuel to the fire by showing emotion and pain?

"Then why aren't you communicating with me," Gina rolled her eyes.

Dylan stood up, "It's pointless, you hate who I am so much then don't hang around," Dylan walked back inside shutting the door behind him.

Donna sat opposite Kelly in the courtyard outside of her work. She was listening to intently as Kelly told her tale in Mexico. Donna was in disbelief that she and Dylan slept together, but the truth was the major shocker had yet to be spoken.

Kelly brushed a strand of hair out of her face, "We swore we'd tell no one, we'd continue with Matt and Gina. Cheating on Matt always bothered me, but Dylan cheating on Gina never bothered him. It's so unfathomable to me."

"What is," Donna inquired.

"That he could do something like that and let it roll off his back as if it were nothing."

"He's not in love with Gina; he's in love with you."

"That still doesn't make it right."

"No, and I'm not justifying it. People do crazy things when they're in love," Donna leaned back in her chair, "have you considered telling Matt the truth?"

"It's not just that I slept with Dylan that makes it complicated, there's more to it than that," Kelly buried her face in her hands.

"What more is there then?"

Kelly looked up with tired eyes; troubled eyes. There was a silent plea, a silent begging hoping she didn't have to tell.

"Well, what is it," Donna wasn't ready to back down.

"Oh God, how could this have happened?"

"How could what have happened," Donna asked with concern.

"I'm pregnant," It was all Kelly could say.

The rain was coming down hard, the driveway was flooded and there was no sign of California sunshine coming back. Kelly had just finished her lunch with Donna and it was decided that she needed to tell Dylan right away; he had a right to know, it was his baby too.

Kelly banged on the door waiting for someone to answer. It would be so much easier if David answered, letting her know Dylan was out and wouldn't be back...ever. To Kelly's misfortune Dylan opened the door immediately steeping out of the way allowing her to enter.

"Kelly, what are you doing? It's pouring outside," Dylan shut the door confused.

"Dylan, I have to talk to you. It's urgent; are we alone?"

"Yeah, David's at the After Dark. What's so urgent it couldn't wait till the weather cleared up?"

Kelly had practiced saying what she was going to say to Dylan. She had a whole speech prepared, but in that moment she panicked. In that moment she saw her future flash before her and she was terrified.

"Dylan, when we were in Mexico, God...we, you and I...Dylan I'm pregnant. I know it's yours, there's no way it could be Matt's, he's been with his wife, I haven't been with him. Dylan, you're the only one it could be."

Dylan stood in shock. He wasn't expecting any of what he just heard. Just then a familiar voice entered the room.

"Oh good your home, I just rented nine months and it's a pretty spiffy movie," Steve smiled proudly.

Dylan looked from Kelly to Steve and then everything went black.

Steve looked at Dylan's motionless body on the floor, "I guess he didn't want to watch the movie."


	2. Chapter 2 Letting the lies die

When Dylan finally came to he saw Steve's baffled face looking back down on him. Dylan quickly sat up and began to scan the room. Was it possible he had dreamed all of that? Then why had he fainted? It was clear that Dylan was ready to take the first train to denial.

"Whoa Buddy, take it easy," Steve cautioned as Dylan sat up, "we don't want you passing out again."

"Where's Kelly," Dylan asked looking over towards the kitchen not seeing her.

"I'm right here," She approached him from his right side.

"How could this have happened," Dylan cried with frustration.

"How could what have happened," Steve was still unaware of the problem Kelly and Dylan faced, but he intended on finding out.

"Steve this is very personal, could you give us a minute," Kelly sat down next to Dylan.

"Sure, but if you need me I'll be in David's room," Steve walked towards David's room shutting the door, knowing that he would still be able to hear everything.

"How long have you known," Dylan inquired.

"About a month, I didn't know how to tell you and this is going to shake up so much with Matt and Gina."

"Matt and Gina, who cares about Matt and Gina; Matt hid a wife from you."

"Well, what did Gina ever do to you that was so horrible," Kelly questioned.

"It's not what she does to me that's horrible, it's the way she treats everyone else."

"Then why date her?"

"Is that really the issue at hand, because I thought we were talking about your pregnancy," Dylan stood up and started pacing around the room.

"I'm keeping the baby Dylan, an abortion is out of the question."

"Who said anything about an abortion? I don't remember suggesting that," Dylan continued to pace around, the fear of fatherhood all around him.

"I know you didn't suggest it, but I don't want it to be brought up all. The fact is I don't even know if I can carry this baby to term. It's not easy for me to get pregnant and stay pregnant. I learned that with Brandon. However, if I can I'm going to, I won't lose a baby because it may not be the right time," Kelly stood up and approached Dylan, "I just need to know if you're going to step up or if once again you're going to run away."

"You come in here and drop this huge bombshell on me and you want me to answer you right away? Kelly you've had a month to think about this! You've had a month to think about what will happen when you tell Matt and what will happen to your whole life and how much it's going to change. What do I get, five minutes to have everything flash before me," Dylan looked at Kelly with disgust.

"I'm not saying you have to decide now, but you do have to decide. I'm telling Matt today and you I both know that it will leak out to Gina, so it might be best if you had this discussion with her as well."

Dylan sighed, he knew it was true. He knew he needed to tell her before Matt did, "Fine, I can tell her, I have no problem telling her, but I do need time."

"That's not a surprise," Kelly stated coldly before walking out the door.

Steve ran into his office later that day really fast. He had always been one to pry into other people's lives when he realized that he wasn't the only one to make stupid mistakes. Overhearing Kelly and Dylan's problem made him see that even the woman with high morals and the man with brutal honestly could do something deceiving and life altering in one night. He didn't want to share this news around, it wasn't his business to, but he wanted to talk about it, however neither one where in the mood to discuss it and both thought that Steve was clueless.

He found his girlfriend Janet sitting at her computer working on their next article for their tabloid "The Beverly Beat". Steve glided over to her to her desk and took a chair out making himself comfortable in it.

"Hello Steve," was all Janet said not taking her eyes off the computer screen.

"You will not believe what I just found out over at David's house," Steve said with a smile on his face.

"What," Janet looked up now with interest.

"I can't tell you," Steve got up from his chair and went over to his desk, "Oh but it is good!"

Janet gave him a weird look, she had accepted the fact that she would never entirely figure Steve out, "What does it have to do with?"

"Challenges, obstacles, and life altering details in our friend's lives."

"I take it that if you were at David's house it has to do with either David or Dylan."

"Precisely, but you never know...actually you will know in the span of two to six months...that would be my estimate anyway...no I take that back, Gina will probably blab the whole thing out, so I'm sure you'll know by tomorrow," Steve sat down and opened up his laptop.

"Well then it has to do with Dylan if it has to do with Gina," Janet looked back to her computer continuing to type pretending that the conversation was of no interest to her.

"Lucky guess, but what girl does it have to do with and what problem do they face, that you don't know, so I'm still not in trouble."

"I thought you said it was Gina," Janet was becoming even more confused.

"Well yes, but no. That's a whole separate issue that doesn't concern anyone."

"Then it has to be Kelly...wait a second...there's no way!"

"What? There's no way you could have pieced it together from only those limited clues," Steve jumped out of his chair and rushed over to Janet's desk.

Janet stood up and strolled around Steve, "No, no it makes sense. Dylan and Gina are having problems because of Kelly which means they must have done the wild thing, you said we probably wouldn't find out from between two to six months, mostly because if you're pregnant that eliminates you don't find out till the second to third month, which eliminates the first two to three months...oh my God!"

"Crap, I'm in trouble again," Steve sat down glumly.

"I won't tell anyone you told."

"I didn't tell, I gave off a few thoughts and you pieced it together," Steve shouted defensively.

"You shouldn't be giving off thoughts on something that private in the first place," Janet declared with a grin.

Kelly knocked on the door to Matt's law office; it was the floor up from where she worked. She had debated just going back into work and not bothering telling Matt and putting it off till another time, but she knew the sooner she got it over with the sooner she could move forward with her life. She knocked again waiting for an answer.

"Come on in Kel," she heard Matt's voice say.

Kelly walked in and tried to smile at Matt, "are you busy? If you're busy I can always come back."

"No, what's up?"

"Matt what I'm about to tell you is not easy to tell you. In fact it is more than likely going to end badly," Kelly forced herself to look straight into Matt's eyes, though she would have rather looked anywhere but his face.

"What is it," Matt was worried, he knew that he was not going to like what he was about to hear.

"I'm not going to drag this out, I'm just going to say it because dragging it out isn't going to cushion the blow, it's just going to leave you either stunned or even angrier."

"Kelly, what is it?"

"Matt when Dylan and I were in Mexico, we didn't just get your wife's medication; a lot of sparks came flying back..."

"Did you sleep with him," Matt interjected knowing where this was headed.

"Yes, Matt I slept with Dylan. It was a confusing time..."

"You did what," Gina shouted from behind Kelly. She had entered the office just as Kelly had said that, "did you just say what I think you said," Gina crossed over to where Matt was sitting standing directly in front of Kelly.

Kelly looked up at the ceiling, it would be hard enough telling Matt that she was pregnant, but she couldn't tell him with Gina in the room, but it looked like she had no choice, "In Mexico, I slept with Dylan. Matt was with his wife, I was left alone and confused and hurt. Dylan was there and I let my upset cloud my judgment."

"You are such a slut," Gina screamed, she reached over and slapped Kelly in the face, "Is this what you do? You sleep with other people's boyfriends," Gina was near tears, she couldn't speak anymore.

"I'm sorry, I never meant for anyone to get hurt," Kelly looked at both of them, what she spoke was true. Though she hated Gina and knew that they could never be close she knew that it was Gina's life still and she had affected it greatly. Then there was Matt someone she did love, someone she did care for and she knew that cheating was something they could recover from under the circumstances, he had hid his marriage from her, they weren't exactly together but they weren't exactly apart. It was the baby that would destroy them; it was the baby that would make her end up alone.

"You never meant for anyone to get hurt! What did you think would come of you cheating," Matt sat up straighter getting worked up.

"Oh and what would come of you lying to me about your wife. I didn't do anything worse than you did! You had a wife hidden from me," Kelly had to make him understand where she was coming from, at least there would be some mercy from him; Gina was another story.

"So what, you did this to get even with me," Matt was infuriated.

"No, I did it because I didn't want to feel alone anymore," but Kelly knew that wasn't the whole truth. She knew what she felt for Dylan was different than what she felt for Matt, it was stronger, it was passionate. Even when they were just looking at each other she could feel her heart pound faster and faster. She skipped beats when she was with him and that's why she did it. It was just another love or an old flame, it was the flame. It was the person that made her feel complete, it was her other half. How could she admit this to Matt when she couldn't admit it to herself? There was no certainty that Dylan would even step up and be there for the baby, there was no certainty that Dylan would agree to being a father, but in the back of Kelly's mind she hoped he would and not because it would be easier, but because it would be the most accepting way for her to try again with him. If Dylan was ready to make a huge commitment to this child then the chances are that he was ready to make a commitment to her and that was the only thing that kept them apart. Was Dylan ready for a real relationship with her?

Matt sighed, "I need time to think about all of this."

"There's more that I need to tell you. It's something I should tell you in private," Kelly looked over at Gina.

"Oh to hell with that, after what you just told us; if you think for one minute I'm leaving and not getting all the information than you are crazy," Gina took a step closer to Kelly ready to get in her face about it.

"If it has to do with Mexico than Gina has a right to stay in here," Matt said firmly.

"Fine, I thought it was something Dylan should tell her...and he was going to tell you Gina. In fact he just found out about it today, but here it goes...I'm pregnant and I don't think I have to count back to figure out who the father is," what Kelly said came out sounding nastier than she wanted it to, but she was getting fed up. She knew what she did was wrong, but what Matt did was no better. The only thing keeping her feeling guilty was the fact that she was carrying the love of her life's baby and then there of course was the fact that Dylan was the love her life; not Matt.

Both Matt and Gina stared at her stunned. Gina looked as though she was about to shoot fire from her mouth, she got up and headed towards the door, but before leaving she turned and looked at Kelly, "When I called you a slut I was clearly mistaken, it's obvious that you are so much worse than that; so much colder than that."

Gina went over to David's house and didn't bother knocking on the door, she barged right in and over to Dylan who was sitting on the couch staring off into space.

"How could you do this to me," Gina roared as she stood in front of him.

"Do what to you," Dylan knew the answer to this already.

"It's bad enough that you slept with her in Mexico, but you knocked the cold heartless bitch up! I can't even stand to look at you. I loved you Dylan! I loved you and you couldn't love me back! Why couldn't you love me back," Gina fell to her knees and started to cry.

"Gina, I can't feel something that I don't feel. I do care about you,"

"How is that possible? You did this Dylan! You slept with her; you lied to me about it when I asked you! I can't forgive for this! I can't."

"I'm not asking you too and I don't want you too. Gina, we are two different people with two totally different views. We were never meant to be."

"I was just a sex toy to you," Gina looked up at Dylan with false realization.

"No, you weren't. If you want to believe that you can, but you weren't. I didn't love you and I won't lie about that now, but I did have fun with you and I did like being around you in general, not just for sex. I cared about what happened to you. You want the truth; I'll give you the truth."

"That would be a nice change of pace."

"I can't love you, but not because of who you are, but because of who I am. There is one person I do love and no matter how hard I try to forget her she is who I think about. I know you don't want to hear this, but I don't want to keep lying to you either. I care about you, but in a different way. What I did was wrong and I didn't want to hurt you, and I'm sure you know about the baby and that's why we can't go on like this. I don't know what to do as far as that child goes, but what I do know is that if we were in love we could face this problem together, but we're not in love. We're not both in love and the fact is we'll crumble before we even try. There's your honesty," Dylan didn't like saying what he needed to say to hear, but the fact was she needed to hear it. He loved Kelly and that would never change. He didn't want Gina to come crawling back to him again. Not now, not with the baby complications, not when he didn't know what was going to. He wanted Gina to move and he wanted to be left alone, because alone was the safest place to Dylan. It was the place where he didn't have to lose someone that he loved again to death or to another person. Alone was the place where he could sit by himself and watch his life pass him by. Alone was the place that he belonged, because at least there he didn't hear the whispers and the speculations about him. At least in this world alone he had the dark and dark is the safest place to hide in.


	3. Chapter 3 Unsettled voices

Chapter three:

Unsettled voices

The waves crashed rapidly as if they were angry at the day. No one in their right mind would dare enter the domestic water and be thrashed around like a fish without a clue in which direction to swim. Dylan looked longingly at the ocean. He wanted so much to just jump in with his surf board and let the salt water clean his mind out. However, he had learned his lesson years before when he broke his ribs and received a concussion from surfing in massive waves like the ones crashing before him. He walked along the beach passing other visitors trying not to think about his newest problem.

Gina had not taken the news very well, but this time around she hadn't hit him either. Deep down she had appreciated his honesty, but it had hurt her that she was not the one he loved more than his actual cheating on her with Kelly. Gina wasn't his problem however, she wasn't his concern anymore. She would move on and continue destroying his friend's lives as she had done in the past. Even Kelly wasn't his problem, he wasn't concerned about winning her heart; he was concerned about raising a baby. Dylan honestly didn't think he was fit for it. He would probably do more harm than good. At the same time he didn't want to walk away, he was feeling love for a child he hadn't even met and that unconditional love scared him. What if that child didn't love him back? He would then have been rejected by his mother, his father, and how his own kid. Dylan was afraid the chain would never break.

Kelly stood next to Donna as they watched Gina pack her stuff up in boxes. She was throwing thing in hysterically. Kelly and Donna were convinced she had lost her mind.

"Gina, no one wants you to leave," Donna stated in a soft but irritated voice.

"I am not sticking around to see some whore give birth," Gina shouted and continued to throw her CD's into a box.

"Look Gina, I know that you're mad that I slept with Dylan, but you cannot honestly claim you are any better than I am," Kelly was starting to get defensive. She knew she had hurt Gina, but Gina had hurt a number of people in the short time she lived here. There was a time when for no reason she had tried to break Donna and Noah. She made him believe that they had slept together when he was drunk. Donna and Noah had made it through that complication, but it wouldn't have been nearly as bad if Gina had been truthful and less manipulative from the start.

"Really? When was it exactly that I slept with Matt and planned for his baby," Gina asked rhetorically while she started in on packing her clothes. She was not about to let the ice queen Kelly turn this around and make it all about what a horrible person she was and how she got what she deserved. Gina may have played dirty, but as far as she was concerned this had nothing to do with that. It had to do with one thing…Kelly being imperfect and making a life altering mistake. One that not only changed her own life, but it changed three other people's lives. She knew Dylan was responsible just as much, but she had had her suspicions of his cheating, she wasn't as stunned and besides he wasn't the one standing right in front of her at the moment…but Kelly was, so her wrath would be exposed onto her and Princess Donna wasn't about to get in the way of that.

"You have done horrid things to other people….FRIENDS in this group," Kelly was challenging her now. She wanted to see just how for real Gina was, just how passionate and tough she was towards the actions she had put forth. Did she really believe what she had done was right? Or did she just not care? It was something Kelly was always interested in finding out.

"So two wrongs make a right? This is all on you Kelly, you hurt Matt and I. This doesn't make us even and it certainly doesn't put me on trial! I may have done questionable things, but since when does that give you permission to take my boyfriend and have his baby," Gina started pointing and screaming ready to charge.

"You wouldn't understand Gina. It wasn't that simple. It just happened. I was confused and vulnerable. Old feelings were returning. Matt had kept the fact that he had a wife from me. Don't talk to me about how I hurt Matt; he hurt me so much more. He and I weren't even really together when I "cheated" on him. The fact is he was with his wife, under the same breath he told me that he loved me and Lauren both. How does a person do that? How was I not suppose to be mixed up? How was I suppose to be thinking clearly? You want to hate me fine! You want to call me a slut fine! But try and play Mr. Innocent and torn. We were never friends; we were never close because you have always tried to play people against each other. You got a taste of your own medicine and I guess you didn't like it so much," Kelly left the room slamming the door behind her. She was done discussing this with Gina. Kelly had made her fair share of mistakes in her life, but at least she tried to be a good person. She never claimed to be perfect. Gina on the other hand did bad things to good people and expected good things to come her way. Kelly wasn't about to condone that and she wasn't about to fight a dead end argument either.

"I suppose you'll take her side," Gina glared at Donna knowing that Donna would stand up for her best friend. It didn't take a genius to figure out where her loyalties really were. Whoever said blood is thicker than water had never met Gina and Donna before.

"What Kelly did was wrong. She knows it wasn't right to sleep with your boyfriend, but she does have a point. You have hurt and caused a lot of damage in a very sneaky way in our lives. In a way Kelly did something you are very capable of doing. She doesn't expect nor want your forgiveness, but she doesn't care for the drama act either because she knows that even though you're hurt you've had no regard for anyone else's feelings so its hard for her to have regard for yours," Donna sighed waiting for Gina's reaction. She expected her to start yelling and even throw a few items at her. Gina was never one for controlling her anger to well.

"I'll be out of here by the end of the night," Gina finished up packing her clothes and started in on her movie collection.

There was a family at the beach that Dylan couldn't help but watch; it was two parents and two children. The kids were building a sand castle while the parents talked softly to each other. The kids started to fight so the parents without blinking separated them.

Dylan tried to imagine himself as the father sitting there with the small child on his lap; but all he saw was old memories of his father pushing him away and running off with his current girlfriend. Anger rose, the feeling of emptiness and rejection returned. He wanted to love his child so much, but what if he was pushed away again. What if he failed just like his father had? What if he was as pitiful and pathetic as Jack was? It was then he decided that he needed help. He needed advice from someone with good insight. He didn't want this whole problem to be broadcasted. It needed to stay quiet until he was ready for the rest of his friends to know. He hoped Kelly hadn't run and told everyone, but he knew he was kidding himself. The chances were she told Donna and Donna told someone and that person had told someone…at the very least he did not want everyone know how apprehensive he was feeling. Dylan took out his phone and dialed the one person he knew he could trust; the one person he could count on.

There were so many people on the road; great drivers and tremendously bad drivers filled the road. The radio was busted so any source of entertainment while sitting in traffic was perished. There was an accident up ahead which had caused the traffic jam. It was just what David needed that day.

He looked at the person in the car next to him, there was a married couple fighting. It looked as though they were lost and the wife was blaming the husband for misreading the map. David turned to his left to see the other car; there was a young girl in her early twenties with blonde hair singing along to her radio; David was jealous. He had half a mind to unroll his windows and ask her to turn the music up louder so he could in the sing along.

It was amazing all the people David saw while driving; all the people he had passed and would continue to pass by in his life. You didn't care to know what was going on in everyone's lives, to hear their struggles and luck. You moved on forgetting they ever existed.

Being philosophical was never David's strong point; he loved life day by day, so why was he getting that way now? Steve had let him know about Dylan and Kelly's baby. He was stunned and worried at the same time. Dylan was going through a lot; he was still very messed up over losing Antonia. David had become close to Dylan since he moved in. They had always been friends since high school, but since moved back they weren't just friends, they were becoming more like brothers. Since Dylan had been back he had been very down and more anti-social than usual. Who wouldn't be after seeing your dad blow up and then your wife get shot in the head? David feared the worst for Dylan now. Was Dylan stable enough to raise a baby? Perhaps having that love was exactly what Dylan needed to turn his feelings around. David was starting to become confident with the idea that Dylan could be a parent; it was just what Dylan needed. To see that he could have love that wouldn't be ripped away. Kelly would never take the child away from him. Everyone knew she was in love with him and that she was just to scared to take that change again. What David feared was much worse? It had nothing to do with if Dylan could be a parent or not. Dylan had a problem in his life that only David knew about; a problem in which Dylan had kept from all his friends. What if this new found responsibility weighed too much on his body? It was at that moment David's thoughts were interrupted. It was at that moment his cell phone began to ring. It was a that moment that moment Dylan had decided to call.


	4. Chapter 4 Hearts beating

Chapter four:

Hearts beating

Day had turned to night, noise had turned to silence, and the light had slipped away from this side of the world's view. It was a time where most got to rest and relax, or have fun and party and work was hardly involved. Some lives couldn't get the concept of this and day's worries turned into nightmares. Dylan had called David in the need of advice and they met at a bar where they were sure they wouldn't run into anyone. As David sat at the bar looking at Dylan he waited for him to stop sipping his mineral water and begin the conversation. He wasn't about to push Dylan, he wasn't exactly an open book; the words would come when he was ready to let them out.

"I got Kelly pregnant," Dylan whispered bluntly.

"I know," David said without looking Dylan's way.

"How the hell do you know," Dylan was starting to raise his voice.

"Steve let it slip," David didn't share eye contact; he probably should have just played dumb.

"Steve is a moron," Dylan took another sip of his drink.

"How did Gina take the news," David inquired. He knew that Dylan and Gina hadn't had the tightest relationship, but he also knew that Gina was hung up on Dylan.

"Not well, she was pretty hysterical about it, not that I could have stayed with her much longer considering," Dylan looked over and saw the expression of disproval written across David's face.

"You need to tell everyone what is going on," David said firmly.

"It's no ones business but my own," there was a flat tone to Dylan's voice. His eyes told a tale of sorrow and pain, but his mouth would never speak these words. He couldn't let people know that he felt the sorrow and pain as much as they saw it.

"I never agreed that it wasn't peoples business when you first found out about it, but now I really don't agree. There is a baby on the way, it's your baby. Do you understand this? If you are going to be in this child's life at the very least you have to let Kelly know what's going on with you. Besides, how long can you keep this secret anyway? I'm going to go with a month tops and then signs are going to start to show up and people are going to get suspicious," David ranted all of this information off, he wanted it to hit Dylan hard. He wanted him to understand that this was one secret he just couldn't keep anymore, "If you don't tell Dylan, I will."

"That's great David, I confide in you…only you with something serious and now you're going to betray me with it. I came to you today for advice and all I'm getting is threats."

"This is you advice. I know you Dylan; you're not going to walk away from this child after how your father walked away from you, but you owe it to this kid to be honest about what's going on in your life. The fact is people will catch on, so be up front about it now before any damage is done," David took a drink and sighed.

"All that will come of this is people telling me that I brought it on myself,"

"What do you mean? If you mean Gina you don't have to tell her, it's not her business. Granted what you did to her was pretty low…but it's not like I can talk."

"I'm not talking about Gina; I'm talking about this group in general. David I have a heart disease, one that I'm most likely going to die from and somehow this is going to be my problem, just my problem. Perhaps it's because I don't let anyone in so they just expect it, or perhaps it's because of all the mistakes I've made in my life it'll be viewed as karma. Whatever the case is nothing is going to be made easier on me," Dylan was mostly thinking out loud. He didn't even know what he was trying to say or get across at this point. He felt cut off from the group. Ever since he had been back it was like they were all in the same circle and he was a good distance away being waved at from time to time. It wasn't their fault, it was mostly he is and he didn't mind it much. What he did mind was their expecting him to mess up when most of them made a good deal of mistakes themselves and what he also did mind was that when things went wrong in his life they automatically were ready to tell him that he had brought it on himself. For once in his life he was really scared, he was really terrified that he was going to die and he didn't want his final days to be filled with anger and hate.

"I think you need to give people a chance and stop expecting the worst to happen. We all care about you, we just get annoyed. No one points fingers at you," David shifted his chair a little and looked around the bar not wanting to share eye contact with his friend.

"If you say so."

"Tell Kelly Dylan, if you want to be a good father you will tell her so that you can work this out now before there's to much going on to be able to figure anything out."

At the counter of the Peach Pit Gina sat drinking her lemonade and thinking about the past events that had taken place. She was trying to be rational about all of this but she couldn't help but want to get revenge. She wanted revenge on that blonde tramp, but she knew that it would only make her even more alienated than she already was. She looked over to her left as someone took a seat next to her. She heaved a sigh as she realized that it was Steve Sander. Just what she needed someone else to throw something in her face or give her even more bad news.

"Hey Gina, I heard what happened with Dylan and you," Steve was cautious about bringing up the subject.

"What's your point," Gina asked a little too impatient.

"I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I know it's got to hurt finding out that your boyfriend cheated on you."

"Is there a specific reason why we're having this conversation because it's not like you and I are best friends or anything?"

"I was trying to be nice, I know that you moved out and you probably could use a friend right now," Steve was trying to be patient but he was starting to feel offended.

"Okay you want to be a friend Steve?"

"Yes, I do."

"Answer me this, why wasn't I good enough for him? What does Kelly have that I don't have? What am I missing," Gina looked at Steve intensely.

"She has his heart Gina. Dylan can't give it to anyone; he can't try to give it anyone, especially after Antonia died. He's in love with Kelly, he has been for years. They've done something like this similar in the past because they are both too stubborn to realize that they are doing it because they belong together. It's not that you're not good enough; even Dylan himself would tell you that, it's just that he's in love with someone else. It doesn't make their actions right, it doesn't mean that you have to forgive him or forgive Kelly, all it means is that you have to stop beating yourself up over what more you could have done to prevent this from happening and just accept it for what it is and move on," Steve gave her a pat on the back and looked her in the eyes.

"Thanks Steve, for a moment I believed that I was all alone on this and that I had no one that I could turn to. Even Donna took Kelly's side," Gina looked at Steve hurt, "I want to hate them both and I do hate her, but I fell in love with Dylan. He could be really sweet when he wanted to."

"You deserve someone who loves you Gina. Dylan is in a messed up state of mind right now and that doesn't mean you should have to put up with that and let him get away with doing the things that he's doing. If you choose to forgive him down the line than I can understand, but don't do something you'll regret. Give yourself time to feel mad, to feel angry and then decide where you want to go. I know that forgiving Kelly is not something that you'll ever be interested in doing, so you and I won't go there," Steve laughed, it wasn't that he was against Kelly and Dylan for what they had done. He had done similar things in the past and he understood temptation, but what happened with them was strong than temptation it was true love that had reared its head to the surface again. He wasn't judging them; he just thought they were being stupid. They needed to be honest with each other and get how they were feeling on the table before anymore people got hurt. He had never been close to Gina before, but he sensed she needed a friend and she had gotten hurt in this mess so he was going to be a friend to her and he was going to be a friend Dylan and Kelly. Friendship wasn't about picking sides, it was about being there for the people he cared about and that's what he planned on doing.

Dylan stood on the beach apartment deck overlooking the beach, memories of night swimming and camping out with Kelly filled his mind. He had knocked on the door and Donna had let him know that she wasn't home just yet, he decided to wait on the deck for some time, it gave him a chance to prepare what he was going to say. He went over it in his mind and the more he thought about it the more his problem scared him. Fear wasn't something he was interested is displaying to other, so he would play it down a bit, but of all the people he had ever known Kelly was the one who could see through him the best. All he wanted was for this time for it to go over her head; he didn't want her to smell his terror.

"Dylan, what are you doing here," Kelly's voice startled him interrupting his thoughts. She walked over to him and stood by him not taking her eyes off of him.

"We need to talk about a few things," Dylan didn't look away from the beach.

"I agree with you on that. Dylan, I want to apologize for the way I left before. I did drop it on you and I have had time to think about it. I'm just scared right now, I don't know how to do this alone, but I should have been more patient with you," Kelly looked at him waiting for him to speak. She did mean her apology and for all she knew she didn't hurt him, but it still needed to be said.

"It's fine, I don't care. I am famous for running…Kelly there are some things I need to say to you that isn't going to be easy. I need to be able to get this entire thing out without an interruption,"

"Okay, what is it," Kelly grew concerned, she was terrified that he was about to tell her that he wanted no part of this baby's life, that she was in fact going to be alone trying to take care of her daughter or son.

"I want to be in this child's life, I really do. After what my dad did to me and how all of that went down, I can't do the same thing to my child. I can't turn into him and it's not just because I don't want to turn into Jack, it's because I really want to be apart of this. I don't know how good at this I'm going to be or even if I'm going to be around much for it…what I mean by that isn't that I'm going to step in and out when I want to. I don't know how to say this; the truth is I've been keeping it a secret for sometime because I can't deal with everyone's reactions and their thoughts. Kel, I have a heart disease, one in which if I don't get a transplant I'm going to die. I don't know exactly how long I have to live right now, but I don't think it's going to more than a year and a half and I'm probably giving myself time on that one," He looked over at Kelly and saw the look of shock on her face, "I want to see my baby before I die."

"Dylan…I…"Kelly was speechless she didn't know what to say, she didn't know how to take it, she threw her arms around him and gave him a hug fighting back the tears in her eyes. She wanted to start screaming, she wanted to cry, she wanted to never let go of him and tell him what she was afraid to say. It was so tempting to yell out the words I love you, but that wasn't going to help. It wouldn't take the disease away, "how long have you known?"

Dylan held onto her and found his voice, "It doesn't matter Kelly…I don't know where this leaves us in this situation."

Kelly looked up at him, "We'll take it a day at a time till we get more information."

Dylan took a seat on the book and leaned against the railing, "They have me on medication right now, but I don't know how long it's going to help."

Kelly took a seat down next to him and put her arms around him. No other words were spoken that night, they just sat there with her holding him in her arms as they listened to the waves crash into the beach and listened to their heart beat in rhythm with each others at last.


	5. Chapter 5:Heart Tug of War

Chapter Five:

Heart tug of war

As the days passed on Dylan grew sicker and sicker. It was nothing that was remotely concerning to those who did not know his condition. He'd get light headed from time to time or he'd have some chest pain that he'd cover by saying it was just heartburn. David and Kelly knew better but as long as Kelly knew David would keep his mouth shut to the rest of their friends and Kelly would do the same. There was no need to get other people involved in this situation as long as Dylan wasn't ready for it. What was the most concerning was how they would cover it when he got worse and when it was obvious that something was seriously was wrong. There would no hiding the fact and all three would have to come clean.

Kelly knocked on Matt's office door afraid of the reaction that he would have seeing her again. The last meeting had not gone off very, mostly because Gina was doing more of the talking and Matt was sitting there in shock. He had spoken a little bit, but it would be good to hear more of what he thought now that Gina was on her lunch break. Kelly couldn't leave Matt now and not see what he had to say, it wouldn't be fair to him not to be able to get his thoughts on her. Closure was needed and not just for Kelly.

"Oh, ah, come in," Matt said when he opened the door. He had mixed feelings about seeing Kelly again. He stood in front of his desk and looked at her as she entered his office.

"Matt we need to talk," Kelly started.

"No, I need to talk. I don't know what to say here, but I know that I need to talk. I want to be able to forgive you for sleeping with Dylan, but this pregnancy is just making it so much harder to be able to do. I feel betrayed by you. All the times I asked how do you really feel about Dylan all the times I got an answer it was just as a friend and now that this has happened I see that that answer a lie. Why couldn't you have been honest with me," Matt looked to her painfully and then he looked down on the ground.

"I'm not the only one that wasn't honest in this love affair. How come I didn't know about Lauren, huh? How can you be angry with me when you kept a wife from me? The only reason why what I did behind your back is bigger than it would have been is because I got pregnant. Things were hard Matt, you told me that you loved me and her under one breath, what was I suppose to do? I was getting medication so that she could stick around. We were hardly even together!"

"I'm not mad about you sleeping with Dylan Kelly. I'm not even mad. I'm hurt; I'm upset because I know who you really feel for. You're in love with Dylan" Matt stated simply keeping his head tilted towards the ground not looking into Kelly's face.

"I do not love Dylan," Kelly was in denial.

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really," Kelly put her hand on her hip.

"Then why when I said after all the times I asked you how you really felt about Dylan you lied and then you responded I'm not the only one that wasn't honest in this love affair. Could it be that your subconscious is trying to tell you something. Let me put it to you this way, our whole relationship was built on a lie and it's not all your fault and it's not all my fault. I think it's time we cut our losses and go," Matt walked around to the other side of his desk and sat down.

Kelly sighed, "It's probably for the best."

Matt looked down at his computer and didn't say another word, he had a lot of work to do and he didn't want to see her go. He did love her and letting her go was the hardest thing for him to do.

Kelly walked out of the office; she turned around and gave him once more passing glance. What was she to do now? He knew that she was in love with a man that she couldn't be with, not because she wasn't free now, or the fact that anything was standing in her way, but it was the very fact that Dylan was more than likely going to pass away within the year and she wasn't ready to say goodbye to her one true love.

The playground was deserted besides some little kids that were there with their parents. All the other children that would normally be there were at school bored out of their minds. It was the perfect time for Dylan to go, he sat down the swing and started thinking about all the times when he was a child and he had come here. He use to walk from his house over while his dad was away. He'd sit on the swing just like he was doing now and think about the roads life would take him in; at least that's what he thought about when he was older. When he was a younger child he'd sit on the swings and think of all the ways he could torture Kelly at school the very next day. He never showed emotion then because he didn't want people to know, he learned from his father it was best to keep a low profile, it was best not to trust because someone would hurt you. Jack had felt that way because of the illegal business he was in, one false person he trusted could wind up getting him caught. While Jack taught him these things he was packing to leave him or he was waiting for some woman to come over; Dylan didn't trust Jack by the age of six, right after his parents divorced, he didn't want to get hurt and Jack leaving him if he let it would hurt him.

Dylan started moving the swing, he wasn't going fast or anything but he needed some motion, to feel like he was going somewhere only to return to the bottom again. It was the way of his world. When his spirits and his life were lifted off the ground it was only for a brief second before it came crashing down again, back to the same old life he was living. A lonely life, but it was the path he had chosen for himself.

"I thought I'd find you here when you were nowhere to be found at the beach. I thought the beach was the spot we were going to meet in if we were ever in trouble, or did it get changed to the playground," Kelly took a seat in the swing next to Dylan's as she watched him go back in forth.

"I wasn't in the mood to get wet," Dylan looked towards the sky and started to wonder when he would be joining it.

"I don't think I've ever heard you say that before, I didn't even think it was possible for you to feel that way. What's on your mind?"

"When were kids I didn't think it was possible for one second that I was ever going to still be living here when I was twenty four and the fact is I did leave for awhile, but I didn't think I would come back," Dylan looked at the sky with fury.

"Yes, but you did."

"I came back for one reason and one reason only and that one reason I can't ever have, the only thing I've ever really wanted I can't have. That's not even what upsets me anymore; I will never have the chance to find something that makes just as happy. What have I been doing since I left town? I went and spend time with Brenda, which was a dumb move. I traveled a lot, I went on an expedition; all I really did was screw around."

"So you're not happy with the choices you've made in your life. Make new choices then Dylan," Kelly looked up at him and saw the fury on his face.

"I did, but I made it to late. Where am I going to be in a year Kelly? I'll change my life now so that at least the last year of it can mean something. How much of it can it really mean? I'm going to be dying for the most of it."

"Dylan, your life has not meant nothing; you were a kid for most of it. How many meaningful things can one do as a child?"

"There's a ten year old in med school!"

Kelly gave him a look, "I mean a normal average child. The meaningful things people do come later and life and stop killing yourself off. You're still alive aren't you? You don't know that you'll die!"

Dylan looked to her and then looked back up at the sky, "I have a rare blood type Kelly, it's going to be hard to get a heart with my tissue type and my blood type. Let's not kid ourselves."

"It's good to be realistic to an extent, but there are times when thinking positive is the better option. Now is one of those times where you need to live in a dream world and if you won't do it then I will do it for you," Kelly stood up and stopped the swing that Dylan was moving, she held onto it with both her hands and looked at him intensely, "I will NOT lose you now do you understand me? I will not go through this alone, you will see our baby crawl and see our babies first steps, you will see our baby graduate kindergarten and go to their prom and their wedding and Dylan you will be seeing this here on earth and not from up above looking down," Kelly wiped a few tears from her eyes and sat back down on her swing. She didn't look at Dylan but she felt his gaze on her. Right now she knew that he needed to think positive, he needed to feel positive and he needed a positive support and even if it killed her that was what she was going to give him, "We have a lot of stuff we need to get for the baby."

Dylan nodded, but the only words that could come out of his mouth were, "Okay."

Dylan walked around the mall with Kelly bored out of his mind. When he said that he wanted to be apart of his babies life he didn't mean that he wanted to be apart of the baby shopping spree as well. He looked around and saw all the happy faces, parents with kids in the Disney store, couples shopping for something to make out to later that night in the movie and music store, teenage girls flirting with teenage boy…_teenage girls FLIRTING with teenage boys! God if that was my daughter flirting with some boy she didn't know she'd be locked up in her room forever…_Dylan stopped himself on that note…_Oh God, I'm really starting to sound like a Dad…and I'm not sounding like a very cool one! _

"Dylan are you alright," Kelly turned to him and saw the strange look he had on his face.

"I'm fine, it's just, how much longer are we going to be here," Dylan wasn't about to get into all the anxieties he had, he didn't want people to know that all of this was in fact getting to him. He had a disease, its fine. He's going to be a father all of a sudden, it's fine. His whole world as he knew it was going to change, its fine. Why let people to know that none of this is fine, the fact is he didn't want to open up. He hated being the center of attention.

"Not to much longer, but we need to get some of this shopping done before the baby comes. You said you were going to help me."

"With the raising part not the shop till you drop part."

Kelly looked at him concerned, "What? Do you feel like you're going to drop? If you do we should have you sit down!"

Dylan gently grabbed onto her shoulders and looked at her, "That's not what I meant Kelly. All I'm saying is shopping isn't my thing. I hate being in malls, I hate being near stores, I honestly believe I'm allergic to them…I broke out into hives once."

"I bet you did. Okay well if you don't want to come to the store with me can you at the very least help me form a list of some of the things that we're going to need."

"Yes, that's fine, I just don't want to be apart of this crazed…"Dylan stopped himself from speaking, his chest felt like it was on fire, he grabbed onto him and his legs started to feel weak.

"Dylan, what's the matter," Kelly threw her shopping bags to the ground, "Dylan! What's wrong," She reached out to him but before she could touch him Dylan fell to the ground.

Dylan lay on the ground and looked up at the ceiling, the room was spinning around, he felt sweat dribble down from his forehead and face. He knew people were talking but he couldn't understand what was being sound…these voices, these voices sounded so far away. The lights that were shining on him were getting darker; they were just disappearing from him. He felt someone's hands on his face trying to make him look in their eyes but he didn't want to. He wanted to find the lights again, he didn't want them to slip away; they appeared so nicely when they were there. He felt a rubbing on his arm, it was so soothing and it made him not care for the lights anymore, they were gone now, all that could be seen was total darkness.


	6. Chapter 6: Not Every Option Is a Mistake

Chapter Six:

Not Every Option Is a Mistake

Waiting was the worst; waiting for the news of death. It wasn't a positive way to look at things but every time she was in a hospital death filled her mind. She had so many traumatic experiences in hospital just with herself, then to take in account all the other people that she had spend time with that had been hurt, it was far to many.

"Kelly I got your message," Steve ran over to Kelly who was sitting in the waiting room.

Kelly sighed, she had no choice but to call her friends and tell them that Dylan was in the hospital. There would be no way that Dylan could hide his disease now, he was getting sicker and he was going to need all the help that he could get.

"Kelly what happened to him," Steve asked as he took a seat next to her.

Just then Donna and David ran in joining Kelly and Steve. They were out of breath and looking like they had dropped whatever they were in the middle of to get there as fast as they could.

Kelly looked up and then looked to her friends who were waiting in anticipation to hear her speak the words and share with them what was going on, "Dylan had a heart attack at the mall."

The look on Donna and Steve's face was pure shock, but the look on David's was just sadness. It was clear to Kelly that he had already known about the disease and that he had expected something like this to occur.

"How did this happen? He's so young," Donna sat down next to Steve and rested her chin on the palm of her hands. She crossed her legs and looked to the floor; the news was unfathomable.

"Dylan has been sick for a little while. He has a heart disease, one that will kill him if he doesn't get a heart transplant. He is young, it is rare that it would take place like this, but it must run in his family. God, I'm just making things up right now, I don't know how this happened. I don't know why this happened to him so young. But that's the only thing that makes sense," Kelly stood up and started pacing around the room; it was amazing how the battle had changed. She had been so worried about being pregnant, if Dylan would step up to the plate, and how Matt was going to handle all of this. Now everything was different, she was still pregnant but it wasn't a question of if Dylan wouldn't step up to the plate, it was a question of if Dylan could step up to the plate. Kelly realized just then that not only would she be taking care of a baby, but that Dylan was going to get sicker, he was going to feel worse and she would be taking care of him as well. Dylan wasn't going to like the idea of needing help and getting help, but help was the only answer.

"Do you know if he's okay," David approached Kelly finally spoke up.

"No, not really; the doctors haven't said much. I don't know what's going on. I'm so worried. If he survives the heart attack then what David? He's going to be sick, and he's going to get worse. He's going to eventually need constant care. I don't mind taking care of him, that's not what I'm getting at; it's just what if he doesn't make it. What if he goes through so much pain just to die in the end," Kelly was rambling on trying to understand and get out her own thoughts.

"Kelly, we can't think about the future, not right now. The best thing we can do for our own sanity is to just think about this moment and to take things a day at a time. No one wants to see him die, no one wants to see him be deathly ill," David spoke softly.

"I know and there is no way of knowing what will happen. I'm just so terrified David, before my problem was being pregnant and wondering if Dylan would want to be apart of that. Now that this is going on I can't help but wish that that was my problem. I could give birth David and Dylan could be on his death bed, I could be taking care of a baby and Dylan and it's not the extra care that concerns me it's the fact that Dylan could die. I could see him die after having his baby. What kind of a sick twisted ending is that," Kelly was practically shouting as tears fell from her face. She was becoming hysterical by these darkened thoughts.

David pulled her into a hug; there was nothing he could say that would soften the truth. He had thought about the same thing when he found out Kelly was pregnant. Dylan could die after this baby was born and it would be hard enough on all of them to see their friend die, but how much harder would it be on Kelly? They all knew she loved him, she would be dealing with the joy of having a baby, but she would have Dylan's baby. The baby of the man she loved the most in her life, the man that might be dead. It would be bittersweet and it would be wrong. Wrong in the sense that love had been given to her only to have another love taken away. Wrong in the sense that the man who she always longed for no matter who she would be with would be in heaven where it was to far away for her to see or communicate with him. Wrong in the sense that the only guy that she was certain she was meant to be with she could never have. Worst of all wrong in the sense that Kelly most likely would shut down and never love again.

Dylan layed in his hospital bed feeling weak, he had just woken up to the sound of people murmuring about something. He couldn't make out what they were saying, they sounded so far away. _What happened? Why am I in the hospital? I had just been talking to Kelly in the mall…we were suppose to be getting stuff for the baby, but then…oh right I fell. Why did I fall? _Just then Dylan saw someone come closer over to him. One of the people who had been murmuring, it was Kelly. _Maybe she'll remember why I fell…_

"Dylan, honey, how are you feeling," Kelly rubbed his arm gently.

"What happened," Dylan asked feeling groggy.

"You had a heart attack at the mall, but the doctors said that you're going to be okay. They're going to keep you here for a few days for observation, Dylan you're very sick."

"I don't want to stay here," Dylan looked to Kelly and then looked to the back of the hospital room and saw what appeared to be Steve, but he wasn't sure. He felt so damn weird.

"You need to stay here so that you can get better," Kelly declared with a forced smile.

Dylan nodded his head, he didn't feel like fighting, "Then what? They make sure I won't keel over again and then what will happen? I go home and I get sicker sicker and if I'm lucky a heart will come through for me. I won't die in the hospital Kel."

"Now don't be silly Dylan, who said anything about dieing. You need to try and stay positive, you need to think about the things you're going to do again when you do get that heart," Kelly kept rubbing his arm knowing that death in which Dylan was speaking about what a very possible option.

"I'm just being realistic," Dylan shut his eyes feeling tired again.

"We should probably let him rest," Donna stated observantly, she walked over to Dylan's hospital bed and gave him a kiss on the cheek, "you get better or else," she laughed and then exited his hospital room.

Steve stood by Dylan for a second and gave his arm a small pat, "Hang in there Buddy," he followed Donna out of the hospital room not knowing what else to say.

David went over to Dylan and looked down at him thinking about the conversation they had in the bar, "You did the right thing telling Kelly about your disease."

Dylan opened his eyes and looked up at David, "Well you didn't threaten me if I didn't tell her."

"Oh and here I thought you told me out of the goodness of your heart," Kelly stated jokingly.

"My heart is a lot of things Kel, good is not one of them," Dylan cracked a small smile.

"I'll see you tomorrow Dylan," David walk outside.

"Get some rest," Kelly said as she stood up.

Dylan grabbed her wrist desperately.

"Ah Dylan, what are you doing? You need to get some sleep. I'll be back tomorrow."

"Kel…stay…"

Kelly sat down on the side of his bed and looked at him. She could tell there was something he wanted to say and she knew that it was probably something she needed to hear.

"You can't leave me Kelly," Dylan looked into her face.

"Why?"

"I love you and you know that you love me too and that's what all of this is about. My coming back was for you, bringing you to Mexico the first time, sleeping with you in Mexico the second time. The baby Kelly was made because we love each other. You can't deny something like that. I have made a lot of mistakes in my life and the one I regret the most is letting you go years ago. I need you, I've always needed you. We have something that we've had with no one else and I know you feel that too. Whenever we're with someone else we can't help but look towards each other. We fight because we have passion; we have passion just by being in the same room together," Dylan fought through his words, forcing them to come out. He was tired, he was weak, but he was in love and he needed to get Kelly back. It meant the most to him right now; she meant the most to him.

Tears started to form in Kelly's eyes as she looked at him. She felt what he felt, but she was so scared to go there again. What if she was let down? What if she let him down?

"I know it's not fair Kelly. It's not fair for me to ask something of you when I'm sick, when I'm dying, but we have wasted so much time. How can I waste anymore waiting to see if I get better? What if I don't get better? I would have wasted the only time that I have left. Then there's the possibility we do get together and I die and you're alone and that's where it's not fair. Every choice is a risk, but not every choice is a mistake," Dylan looked into her eyes seeing what she was feeling; feeling what she was feeling.

Kelly looked at Dylan and leaned towards him. Without thinking she pulled him into a long slow kiss. She was tired of wasting time, waiting for the other shoe to drop. She loved Dylan with all her heart and she knew that he loved her, if she didn't take this risk, if she didn't date him again to see if they had a future together she would regret it for the rest of her life. In her heart of hearts she knew that Dylan was the one. She had known that since the first day she saw him in her Kindergarten class and as an adult she knew that now. Kelly was scared that she could lose him to another addiction, another woman, or even death, but she also had faith that their love was stronger than that and she was going to cherish what they had because she felt for him as much as he felt for her. The things she feared were mere paranoia and small possibilities because next to their love it seemed they didn't stand a chance. Together they could over come anything and she would make damn sure that they did.


	7. Chapter 7: This Time We'll Lose No Time

Chapter Seven:

This Time We'll Lose No Time

Night time had come at last, it had been waited for. The day had been passed making preparations, busing herself, and attempting to get some sleep though it wasn't possible for that to happen with all the thoughts lurking around. She ran back and forth in the guest room putting the final touches on everything. She had bought some flowers to make the room more welcoming; tension was not needed in his life. The truth remained…she was nervous. How could she not be nervous? She hadn't been with him and years and now she was going to be living with him…that was if he accepted the invitation and assuming her roommate allowed it. Kelly couldn't imagine that Donna would turn their poor, sick, friend Dylan away. However, she could imagine Dylan backing away and that was exactly what she was afraid of.

"Donna," Kelly walked out to the kitchen ready to make her request be known.

"Oh there you are," Donna looked up for the cup of coffee she had just made, "you've been missing all day in that empty bedroom. I can't for the life of me figure out what on earth you could be doing in there."

"Oh well, I'm sure if you thought about it you would know," Kelly bit her lip, "Okay I did not mean that they way it came out."

Donna laughed, "Well, we all have our needs," she joked and made her way over to the couch.

Kelly reluctantly followed her, "What I meant to say was that I have been getting the room ready."

Donna raised an eyebrow, "The room ready, for who? Is there an invisible person that lives here that I don't know about. You know when Steve told us the apartment was haunted last week he was just screwing with our heads. I don't think he even he thought you would take it to heart."

"No! The room is for Dylan, look Dylan is the father of my baby and he's the love of my life, and we're back together now…he's sick and I thought that I was the best person to take care of him right now. He needs me and I can't turn him away," Kelly babbled along.

"You don't have to convince me, I'm fine with letting Dylan stay here, but are you sure that it's not too soon for you two," Donna inquired.

"No, I'm not to sure, I have no idea what I'm doing, but what I do know is that I need to step up for him," Kelly sat down on the couch, "We dated awhile back and I know what his tendencies are. I understand that he is not the easiest person some days, but I've missed him Donna. I have really missed him and I realized that when he came back into town. I fought my feelings off them because I was scared, but I won't do that now. He and I could really make this work. Plus, he's so sick, even if we can make this work he may just not be able to make it and I'm not going to waist what little time I have with him trying to figure out what my every move in this relationship will be. I love him and that's all I need to know."

Donna nodded her head understandingly; she realized full well what the difficulty Kelly was going through. This was no ordinary situation, she was finally with the person that she loved most only to watch him slip away. Worst of all Kelly was pregnant with his baby, a baby that was inevitable to happen whether Dylan lived or die. Kelly pushing her feelings away now would be wrong, even if it wasn't the right time if anyone could make it the right time it was those two. Their love was so strong it had survived mounts of challenges, even people trying to get in the way of them. If Dylan living here was the thing to do then Donna was going to back it up through all the hardships it may bring. Life was never easy, but if you played your cards right it was always worth it in the end.

There was a loud pounding from the door; it was probably the most obnoxious knock someone could have used. Kelly rolled her eyes, got up, and went to open the door. When she opened it she looked Steve directly in the face and stated, "I'm going to remember that knock when I'm huge from this baby and I'm going to go over to you and sit on you!"

Steve gasped, "Have a heart Kelly; I was trying out my new knock."

Kelly looked at him quizzically, "Your new knock. Since when do people have an actual knock?"

"I'm trying to be distinct from other people, if you don't like it I can try out a new one."

"Please…where's Dylan," Kelly looked baffled by not seeing her boyfriend there besides Steve.

Steve reached out and grabbed Dylan's arm and moved him into view, "He's not being real social today."

Dylan gave Steve a look, it was apparent that Dylan was very tired and not up to any sort of excitement, "I thought you were taking me home Steve."

"You are home," Kelly said in a sheepish tone.

Dylan's gaze went from Steve right on over to Kelly, "I am?"

Kelly put her arm around Dylan, "Now, before you go running for the Hills just think about it. We're back together, I'm pregnant, you're…in need of a helping hand, what better place to live," Kelly smiled hoping that she was selling it to him.

"Don't you think us living together is a little fast," Dylan rested his head on her shoulder.

"If I thought that I wouldn't have put your room together," Kelly smirked.

Dylan gave her a look, "I get my own separate room."

"What? I didn't want to push you too hard."

"Right, you just had Steve bring me here while you put a room together and kept me in the dark, only to throw this all at me at once. Nope, you're right that's not pushing too hard."

"I take it you want to go back to David's," Kelly looked down to the ground, "That's okay, I understand, whatever makes you the most comfortable."

Dylan looked at Kelly a bit amused, "No, I'm not going back to David's. I just don't understand that purpose of a separate room…unless of course it's because Donna doesn't trust us," Dylan laughed.

Donna looked up from the sound of her name, "What? What'd I do?"

"Never mind," Steve commented, "They're just about to be disgustingly happy minus a few kinks in their life," Steve sat down on the couch and turned on the TV.

"I'll move everything into my room, but first you at least have to look at what I did with it! It's really pretty," Kelly grabbed Dylan's hand and dragged him into the guest bedroom.

"We're not going to be seeing them for awhile are we," Steve asked.

"Basically," Donna confirmed.

Dylan looked around the room and then hopped on the bed. It had a very cozy atmosphere in there. It was clear that Kelly had spent hours on it putting it together. The flowers helped open up the room, and the lighting was dim allowing for relaxation to just soothe its way in.

"It's a real shame," Dylan started to say.

"What is," Kelly questioned as she sat down on the next to him.

"Well, you worked so hard on it and no one is going to use it," Dylan pointed out.

"Are you saying that you want to stay in here now," Kelly was becoming puzzled.

"No, that's not exactly what I'm saying," Dylan kissed the side of Kelly's neck.

Kelly laughed a little feeling aroused, "Don't you remember what happened the last time we did this."

Dylan kept his lips close to her body as he spoke in a low tone, "Yes, but we don't have to worry about that happening again, because the result is still inside of you."

"Oh you're right," Kelly threw her arms around Dylan as she pulled him into a slow soft kiss.

The sun had been down for a few hours, there was silence in the air. The only thing that anyone could hear is the sound of two hearts being as one. Their feelings was more than something physical, it went deeper than a love that's real and divine. They had loved each other as far as they could tell since the beginning of time. No one could understand them better than they understood each other. As they touched each other's soft skin, felt each other caressing their bodies, the touch of their lips hitting different places one by one, time stood still. For a moment the problems in the world weren't there anymore.

All they needed was their hands, their face, and their legs tangling together. It was complexion that kept them apart, but the knowledge that they completed each other that brought them back together. Through that was being made so gently and passionately right now, to the love that was inside of her, to the love that would ultimately save him, it was obvious for the first time that without each other they could never truly be happy; without each other all they could do was long for each other and hope that under one decent manner they could be brought together again. This time they didn't wait around, they fell and they fell hard. They put their arms around each other, their lips touched each other, the heat in the room build up higher and higher and they felt it harder and harder until finally it was done and they were born once more.


	8. Chapter 8: Love Is Not Light

Chapter Eight:

**Love isn't Light**

Splendid! Incredible! Alive! These are the feelings a person is able to really understand once they truly connect with someone. Such sorrow to a soul that is forced to spend life floating around the universe with no one to share any form of enlightenment; consequently, one learns the bitter nature of true lonesome. In time most would learn that it was no way to spend the days; however, sometimes they learned to late. Had it been an angel that refused to let that happen this time around? Was it pure luck that they woke up? Perhaps it was the work of love that formed inside her. Whatever the cause, the deed was done and more beautiful than ever before.

Kelly played around with Dylan's hair while he slept in her bed. There was no telling what the future brought, but as far as Kelly was concerned the present was all that mattered. It was never really her style to not think ahead; moreover, she was not in the correct place to do so. Had she decided to plan ahead she would see a dark bulging cloud looming, and prepared to shower down on everyone. Her relationship with Dylan, she was not concerned about, his health was the cloud. Planning ahead would mean planning his funeral, and Kelly was not prepared for that. Death had come to Beverly Hills and it was seeking out Dylan, conceivably it would happen, but Kelly hoped she could find a way to protect him from such a predator. Looking at Dylan as if he were prey would only anger him. Looking at Dylan as if he were prey ultimately would destroy her inside out. For now she would enjoy their newfound relationship. Pretending he was perfectly fine was not in the cards for even a moment, but she wouldn't focus on his disease either.

Dylan awoke to a pair of beautiful blue eyes starring back at him. They appeared as a peaceful ocean though when angered they formed into a raging whirlpool. For now it was simply lovely, simply perfect, life seemed okay. What was missing? What couldn't Dylan remember? Was there a problem? Then it came back to him…his disease. Dylan sat up rapidly; it surprised himself how much the knowledge returning had frightened him.

Kelly's calm eyes quickly shifted to sheer concern, "What's the matter?"

"Nothing…nothing at all." Dylan lied and proceeded to get out of bed.

Kelly didn't believe him for one second, but decided not to push the matter any further, "Where are you going?"

"To take a shower, I need to get the sweat off of me." Dylan stated as he proceeded out of the room and into the bathroom.

Kelly forced herself out of bed and threw her clothes on. She realized that not planning ahead and living in the moment was not going to be possible. Out of all of the times to accept what is yet to come as it comes, now was not the time for it. Traveling out to the kitchen she found Donna and David drinking coffee quietly. They were speaking in hushed tones before she entered, and Kelly could very easily tell that they had quickly shut up.

"What are you two whispering about?" Kelly asked innocently.

"Oh, nothing, nothing really, just ah…well…" Donna started to look around the kitchen trying to form a reasonable fib up.

"Will you just tell me the truth?" Kelly stared at both of them; she wasn't in the mood for dealing with secrets.

"We saw Matt today. He wants to see you, and David and I both feel that seeing him may not be the best thing." Donna took a quick sip of her coffee.

"Why do you think that?" Kelly's heart had sunk the moment she heard Matt's name. The thought of seeing him again scared her, but she knew that there was no getting around it. Eventually she would have to face him again.

"After everything that has happened, the pregnancy, Dylan's disease. Look Kel, you have a lot on your plate right now, and if you see Matt it's going to stress you out some more. We know you can't hide from him forever, you do have to face him sometime, but do you really have to do it now?" David knew he was being inconsiderate towards Matt's feelings, but Kelly was his sister. He wanted to protect her from any bashing that may come her way.

"You're right, it is more stress, but that doesn't mean I can blow him off. He was my boyfriend, I didn't choose the best way of figuring out that I still love Dylan. Whether or not what I did was right or wrong, I still owe it to him to see him. I'm a little surprised that the two of you would even suggest this, it's very unlike you." Kelly raised her eyebrows.

"Well, it's not just that Matt wants to see you, ah Kelly he still wants to be with you." Donna announced slowly.

"What?" David and Kelly both yelled out at the same time.

"You didn't know that. I thought you were there when this happened." Kelly was becoming confused.

"I was, but I did step away briefly," David stared at Donna waiting for her to go on.

"All he would tell me is that after thinking about it, where as you two weren't together or apart, where as he did lie to you about having a wife, and the very fact that she was still around…he said he could understand. Kelly, if you see him…what about Dylan?" Donna's eyes did not leave Kelly for a minute.

"Are you worried I'm going to break it off with Dylan? Donna, I love Dylan. It's Matt who just doesn't work in any of this. I told him I was pregnant. Did he just forget that small detail? I appreciate your trying to look out for my relationship with Dylan, and I know it has a lot to do with his being ill, but this won't complicate things. I have made up my mind. I do need to see Matt though, no matter what I have to." Kelly quickly grabbed her purse, and headed out the door.

The office was dull and unresponsive to what Matt was muttering under his breath. Looking over unpaid bills and a surprisingly low list of clients to any lawyer was not his idea of a good time. His idea of a good time had walked out that door after announcing it was carrying another man's baby, and yet he had wanted her back. Gina sat in her spot going over her work. Matt couldn't help but wonder what she thought about Dylan. Did she secretly wish that he would come running back in, and whisk her away? On the outside she appeared as though he didn't, but Matt knew better. She wanted it as bad as he wanted Kelly.

Gina wasn't his main concern however; figuring out how to make it work with Kelly while she was pregnant with Dylan's child was his main concern. He couldn't force them not to see each other anymore. That would be wrong, and playing dirty was not his style. Had she not gotten pregnant that thought wouldn't have crossed his mind. Had he not hid a wife from Kelly, the thought most defiantly would have crossed his mind. Different scenarios would have brought on different reactions. A different scenario didn't matter, because it wasn't the scenario that had taken action. Kelly slept with Dylan, Kelly had gotten pregnant. Matt had had a wife at the time, and he had kept it from Kelly. Kelly and he were not together, and they were not apart. Their relationship was on the line, and Kelly merely had decided what she believed she wanted to do with it. In Matt's thoughts Kelly had decided in the wrong. He hardly believed it was what she ultimately wanted. They couldn't be finished yet; they hadn't started that long ago. It had only been a couple months. There were so many things that he wanted to say to her, and he was not one to give up easily. Matt wanted Kelly to be happy, and he didn't for one minute believe that she could be happy with Dylan…but she saw the way he looked at her. _No, that's not love! It's lust! _Matt saw the way they laughed together. _That's not love! That's a funny story!_ Matt saw the way they watched each other when they walked out of a room. _That's not love! That's making sure they get to their car okay! _What Matt noticed the most was the way Kelly looked to Dylan when he was with another woman. _That's not love…I'm not sure what it is…but I won't call it love…_

In the shower thoughts of death flowed Dylan's mind once more. He wondered what if felt like, what it tasted like, what it smelt like. He wondered if there was an after life, he wondered if he would just stop existing, and if his soul would just dissipate. Black…that's what he saw when he thought of death. In the mind, the made up visions; complete and total darkness. Nothing more than a never-ending stream of black; it would run from one of end of life to the other end of life. He would be stuck in the middle of it with all the other souls searching for their families they had lost when they had passed. Would they ever find them? There was so much darkness, it was impossible to see. Did time move differently? There was hope that it would move quicker, go by in a flash. This way you could find your loved one faster. If you did find your loved ones, you were just a soul, a specter. Would you go through all the others? Dylan assumed that you would. Negativity was around the dark place, and there was no way to find the light at the end of life. It was a dead end, you would have to turn around and travel back. Light was just a myth, you couldn't find the light after death if you never found the light to begin with in life. Kelly wasn't the light, he did love her though, but she couldn't be the light. Light was something that was rare to find. Love wasn't light, and he loved Kelly with all his heart. Light was purpose you had in life, it was your purpose. Your girlfriend, fiancé, or wife could never be your light. Your main purpose in life does not stem from being with them. The light had to be something bigger than that, something you couldn't imagine what life was about until you had it. No woman Dylan ever had been with was the light; if it were the light he would have found that to be repulsive. At this stage of time, Dylan had decided he would roam around in the pitch black darkness when death found him. Light could only be found by heroes.


	9. Chapter 9: Finding the Answers

Chapter 9:

**Finding the answers**

David and Donna sat on the couch together waiting for Dylan to return from his shower. David had not been instructed to wait, but he figured Donna could use the help if Dylan was not feeling well. It had been awhile, and concern was starting to grow. The shower was still running, they had heard no thud, but still Dylan usually did not take so long in the shower. _He's probably just moving slower in there because he's sick_. David had to keep reminding himself of that, he didn't want to seem overly paranoid by jumping up and rushing to the shower, the fact was Donna wasn't showing any sign of concern.

"Do you think Kelly will find herself back with Matt?" Donna looked up from the TV, and over to David.

"Not really, why would she? She's having a baby with Dylan." David looked towards the bathroom door, and then towards Donna.

"I suppose I'm just worried, because you know how Kelly gets. She's worried Dylan is going to let her down."

"How? By dying? That bastard!" David stated sarcastically.

"No, you know what I mean. If he runs away from responsibility with the baby…when he does get better." Donna spoke Kelly's fears out loud. Though Kelly never told Donna this out loud, she could see it on Kelly's face.

"What more does Dylan have to do to prove himself? He's stated that he wants to be in the baby's life, he's once again tried to get back together, and it's worked for a change. Put on the fact that he's making all these commitments while he's dying, let's just face it Kelly isn't afraid that Dylan is going to let her down, Kelly is just afraid she's going to lose him to this disease. If she runs back to Matt over that, well what does that say about her?" David started getting frustrated.

"I'm not saying she's going to get back together with Matt, I'm just saying…what if."

"You shouldn't what if so much Donna, they love each other. Kelly isn't the type of person to take the easy way out."

"I understand that, and I'm not saying that if she got back together with Matt it would be because she is taking the easy way out. What if she honestly believes it's better off for her to be with him?"

"This is her life Donna; she has to pick what is best for her. She can't do what we think is best for her, and maybe you're being a little biased towards Dylan because he's sick. They are both our friends, we want what is best for them. I know you're only saying these things, because you're worried, and it's in your nature for you to want to help everyone. When it comes to this we just can only be there for both of them, but we can't make their choices for them even if the right answer is so clear we can't understand why they don't see it for themselves." David declared gently as he rubbed Donna's shoulders a bit. His eyes lingered back towards the bathroom. What was taking him so long?

Kelly arrived outside Matt's office door. She stopped in front of it remembering the last time she had been here. She had dropped the news on him that she was pregnant, and it hadn't turned out in the best way possible. Walking through the door was going to be harder than she had anticipated, and the conversation she was about to endure was going to be even worse. She had gotten herself into a mess that she couldn't work her way out of, but she knew that she had to face it, and then it would be over with. Her life would move on the way it was suppose to, as would Matt's. Kelly turned the knob, and entered into his very professional set up.

Gina sat there, and she stood up looking at Kelly with hate, "How dare you walk back in here!"

"I heard that Matt wanted to talk to me from Donna and David," Kelly managed to keep the cold tone out of her voice.

Gina looked over at Matt who sat in his desk already feeling uncomfortable, "Why would you want to talk to her after what she did?"

"Gina, this is between Kelly and I. Can we please have some privacy?" Matt asked calmly hoping to stop a war from breaking out.

"Fine," Gina started towards the door, and the turned back towards Kelly, "I hope you fall down a flight of stairs," Gina swung the door open, and left angrily.

"Well, I take it her and I aren't going to be buddy buddy any time soon," Kelly sighed a little knowing that Gina's anger was justifiable, but it wasn't going to bother her. As far as Kelly was concerned Gina had done a lot of terrible things, and where as it didn't excuse what Kelly did, she was more worried about Matt than she ever would be about Gina.

"It's not exactly a situation most people are happy about," Matt stood up and straightened his tie a little bit, "Kelly we need to talk about what's going on between us."

"Alright, I'm listening."

"Kelly, I understand why you would sleep with Dylan. I understand that you should be forgiven under the circumstances. I was married; you and I were hardly together at that point. Hell, we weren't together at all. I can't stand here, and say that you cheated on me. I was confused, I wanted you both, and as much as it hurts that you did go and sleep with Dylan knowing that these feelings were going on…how can I hold you accountable for that? It's not fair for me to stand here, and say that you should have been faithful to me when I was married to another woman, and you and I weren't together. I probably wouldn't have even been all that mad if it weren't for the fact that it was Dylan that you had slept with. Your ex boyfriend, the one you use to love. Now there's a baby involved. It makes it more complicated, and I get that. But, we are stronger than this. You and I can make it through this, yes you're pregnant, it's going to be hard, but I want to work through it with you," Matt looked to Kelly desperately.

"Matt, I think you're sweet. I think you are probably one of the most understanding guys I will ever meet, but we can't work. If I weren't pregnant, yes I probably would have wanted to work this out with you. In a year, or less, maybe even more we'd learn that it couldn't work out between us. I can't help, but be in love with someone else. You don't pick and choose who you fall in love with…it just happens. I want you to know that I do love you, I do, but it's not the same. It's not the way that I love Dylan."

"How can you love someone like that? He's a man with no direction in life; he would rather do drugs than take responsibility! Kelly, don't you see, he's not good. How can he father a baby when he can hardly take care of himself?" Matt shot these words out of his mouth not thinking over what he was saying. It didn't matter to him, Dylan didn't matter to him, nothing mattered to him right now. He just wanted Kelly, he was in love with her, and it was building up inside of him. He refused to see the bigger picture, and the clear message that was right in front of him.

"That's not true," Kelly grew defensive towards very fast, "Dylan may have made some mistakes in his life, but that doesn't mean he's not a good person. It doesn't mean he's not someone you can't count on. I did cocaine back when I was in college; I got hooked on the stuff really bad…does that mean I would rather do drugs than take responsibility?"

"No, because where as that happened to you, you have proven that you have straightened out."

"Hasn't Dylan done the same thing? I don't see him snuffing drugs right now. Matt, Dylan may be confused with what he wants to do with his life right now, but he's still young, and he still has time to figure it out. I've made countless excuses as to why I shouldn't be with him right now, and to be honest they are the things you've said to me right now. I have to say; hearing them repeated back to me makes me realize that these reasons don't make any sense. I'm scared to get hurt again; I'm scared that he and I are going to fall apart again. My insecurities get the best of me, and Dylan honestly has been one of the people who has helped me get that under control. He's part of the reason why I'm where I am today. I can remember being on a playground with him in high school, and that night he taught me that I was more than just a sex symbol, that I was a person deserving of happiness. He's helped me more than any guy I know, any person I know…and my place is with him. Not because I feel like I owe him, or that I have to be with him for the very reason that he helped me, but it's because I love him and I've helped him. Dylan loves me, and he's helped me. What we have is true." Kelly wanted to fly out of the office, and run towards Dylan. The night they slept together they had connected, and now she finally realized why. They really were meant to be, and nothing could get in the way of that.

"Why don't you just give it some thought? Really search yourself, and whatever answer you give me, I'll be okay with that," Matt asked of Kelly hoping she would really think it through.

"I have thought about this, I've done nothing but think of this. I'm sorry I hurt you Matt, I truly am. I can't turn my back on what I know to be right, I can't turn my back on the love of my life. I'm sorry." Kelly kissed his cheek as a farewell, and walked out of the door without looking back.

"So, how long do you think Dylan's going to be in the shower for?" David finally questioned Donna on the matter.

"I don't know, why?" Donna asked, this time it was her turn not to be all that interested.

"Well, he's been in there for a long time, maybe we should check on him."

"Yeah, maybe we should pull the shower curtain back, and take pictures of him nude and sell them on EBay while we're at it." Donna joked, but it sparked her to start wondering what Dylan did look like naked.

"Wipe that look off your face; you're enjoying that thought a little too much. Go do that to your boyfriend." David laughed.

"Look if Dylan was hurt we would have heard a thud." Donna stated logically.

"I still think we should check." David got up and walked towards the bathroom

Donna got up and quickly followed behind David, the way he was acting started to make her nervous.

David knocked on the door, "Yo Dylan is everything okay in there?"

Kelly entered in the house in hurry, not being able to wait to see Dylan. She stopped when she saw David and Donna standing outside the bathroom, "There is no way he's still in there."

"Ah yeah, I'm sure he's just moving slower, because he's sick."

Kelly rushed over to the door, and opened it. She found Dylan on the floor, laying in his towel, trying to catch is breath, "You guys didn't think to check on him," Kelly yelled as she ran over to Dylan and took him in her arms.

"I wanted to check on him! Donna told me not to!" David tattled quickly.

"Whatever, Dylan honey, are you okay?" Kelly felt panic growing over her.

Dylan looked around the room feeling out of it, taking in just how light headed he felt. He couldn't help but think all these silly thoughts to himself. He never was the type to be so random, but he just started to feel so relaxed. The room was spinning, and he was letting go of himself.

"Kelly, you would look interesting as a brunette." Dylan started laughing to himself find it so funny.

Donna, David, and Kelly all exchanged the same confused look, and all three of them helped Dylan off the floor. They helped him the bedroom, and on to the bed as he recited non sense about the days at West Beverly and Nat's peach pie that he believed was dosed with crystal meth.

"Alright, let me get some comfy clothes on you, and you'll feel so much better," Kelly started to walk towards the dresser, but Dylan quickly grabbed her hand, "what is it?"

Dylan laughed as he spoke, "Do you want to get married and run away? I want to wake up where you are. I won't say anything at all…so why don't you slide."

Kelly looked towards David, "Ah what is he doing?"

"Goo Goo Dolls, it's their song Slide…basically Dylan just needs sleep."

"I get that, but what kind of side affect is this?" Kelly laughed nervously.

"He must be really light headed." Donna commented.

"Dylan, I'm gonna get you some clothes now." Kelly picked out some clothes quickly, and started dressing him.

"I'm serious you know." Dylan stated with a smile.

"About what?" Kelly inquired as she slipped his shirt over his head.

"I want to marry you," Dylan lay his head on his pillow and drifted in a deep sleep.

"Pregnant and a proposal, you're on a roll Kelly. How do you do it," Donna walked out of the room as David followed her.

Kelly couldn't imagine that Dylan was serious about such a thing. It was obvious the disease was taking a toll on him; he had gotten dizzy in the shower, and just needed to rest. There was no way that Dylan McKay was interested in having a baby, and having a marriage. It would be too much for him at once…or would it be? These thoughts scared Kelly, she loved Dylan, and she knew that she would marry him in a heartbeat if she thought he were dead serious about it. It would be hard enough to lose her boyfriend if this disease won, but how could she handle losing her husband? It was the same person, but it would be such a tease. She would be married, she would have a kid, and then she would lose her happy ending. It was no reason not to marry a person, and she knew that. She also figured that there was no way Dylan was serious. He would wake up tomorrow, and if he remembered it at all he would deny ever saying it, or he would chalk it up to not feeling well. Kelly knew he wouldn't committee like that, so she shoved it out of her head as best she could. But what if…? Oh, she would just have to wait to find out if he was serious when he awoke…


	10. Chapter 10: Reflection

Chapter 10:

**Reflections**

The days were growing long, and the nights were growing even longer. It had nothing to do with a season change. The sun was up for just as long, and the black sky remained darkened for the same amount of time. The lack of sleep is what kept the night going, and in the day wanting to keel over is what made the light drag on. There was nothing that could be done. The feeling of love kept her going, but being pregnant made it harder. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs, but she didn't know who she was screaming at. Fate was showing its cruel side, and worst of all she couldn't touch it, she couldn't see it, all her senses weren't aware of it. It was completely internal. Dylan was growing thinner by the day, he felt tired all the time, and his breathing had become shallow. He never complained though; however, he had the tendency to moan and then claim he was alright. She knew why he was doing such a thing, and it didn't help despite what he thought. Dylan didn't want to be a burden on his pregnant girlfriend, but not knowing when Dylan needed something forced Kelly to play guessing games making her even more tired.

Kelly crept into Dylan and her bedroom quietly. The last thing she wanted to do was wake him if had finally gotten to sleep. Sure enough he laid there awake; therefore, allowing Kelly to know that they were about to pull an all nighter. She lay down next to him, and took him in her arms. His weak body lay softly in her arms, he fought to keep his breath, and he still managed to smile up at her. Time had stopped for Dylan, and that scared Kelly. The days didn't matter to him anymore. All that mattered to him was just lasting another minute. She wanted this horrid process to slow down; she wanted more time with him. The doctors still had not stated when he would go, how much time he had left, and to Kelly that was good news. There was still hope for him, and hope that he would get a new heart. She knew that it would have to be found sooner rather than later, and she could not deny this no matter how much she wanted to claim it as false.

"Sometimes I look back, and I think about what it was like when we were kids. Most people say how simpler it was as a child, and when I look back I see the struggle that we had to endure. Sometimes I look back, and I think it would have been better off had I not fought so hard to survive the lonesome. I wanted to curl up, and give up. I wanted to allow myself to get swept away. I don't know where I would be taken, but it was better than living a life of pain. There have been many lonely nights that I think about the darkness, and I have prayed to be taken there. It's funny how someone could want to be taken to a place of pain, but I wanted it because I figured that pain could only be less than what I was going through. Drugs, death, judgment…all things I would rather live without," Dylan rambled on not sure of why he was speaking of such things.

"What changed your mind?" Kelly asked curiously.

"I woke up one morning, and I found inside myself why I kept going. I kept going, because I still had hope that maybe one day I would feel complete. I woke up, and I realized that my life didn't have to end when Antonia's life had ended. I still had love, I still felt love, and I knew that I felt it for you…I felt it for our friends. I wanted to prove that I wasn't just someone who was going to spend their whole life on a beach drinking, and watching the sun go down. I decided that fighting to survive hadn't been such a bad thing, because the many nights I felt alone I know that I wasn't. Sometimes I lay here in this bed, and I remember graduation, I remember hanging with everybody, I remember our first kiss, our first dance, hell I even think about our first fight. They leave me to one conclusion…despite having a bad day, having a bad past, having a bad everything…there's still always something to live for. I still have things to live for. I have you, something that I've dreamed about having all my life. I have our baby, and I know that I'm not always responsible; I have run away from so much because I just didn't want to deal with it. I will never let our child down. I'm never going to let you down either." Dylan breathing started to grow shallow, and as it did he grabbed on to Kelly's hand and held it tight. She was his savior, and he knew with her by his side he could fight off anything.

Kelly grabbed on to his hand, as she felt his hand clasp hers, "Dylan, you just need to calm down now. You're getting yourself all worked up and you know that that isn't a good thing. You need your rest."

Kelly felt a tear roll down her cheek, and she quickly fought back the rest of the tears to come. This was her boyfriend's battle, and it was her boyfriend's pain. She was not about to let him how it affected her. He relayed on her, and right now he needed her, and she was going to be there for him no matter what that meant.

"I don't want to rest; I just want to look at you. I want to see you, and never ever forget what I see. I want to remember the way you are right now, and I want you to remember what you feel for me at this moment for as long as you live. Never forget, because someday you're going to want to, someday it's just going to be easier to let go of these memories. If you do that, if you let us go, then nothing ever mattered. All the hardships we've been through together will just be a place in time, maybe even erased from time. One day no matter where we are, no matter what has happened, whether I'm around or not…I want you to look back on this moment when you feel down, and I want you to think of me as this, and realize that you saved me. You opened my eyes, and made me see that being swept away into eternal darkness is not the only place that life intended me to go. See me as someone who was found because of your love and your guidance." Dylan closed his eyes, and allowed himself to feel the warmth that Kelly's body had to offer. He started to wonder when he would drift away. Deep inside he was scared, but on the outside he would never allow for that to show. A long time ago he was taught he needed to be strong, tough, and unaffected. Years later he still tried to live with that lesson in the back of his mind.

Kelly fought back the tears as she looked at Dylan in her arms. His eyes were closed, and she was tempted to check for a pulse. Fortunately, she started to hear his breathing, and she knew that everything was okay. Dylan tended to be a deep person, and these were one of those times. It wasn't his dying words he had just spoken; it was just Dylan being his typical self. This was a characteristic that she loved about him. He went deeper than anyone she knew; he got to the core of an issue and spilled his guts out on it if he trusted you enough. His candor made her smile, as well as his sarcasm.

"In years to come Dylan, I won't need to look back at this moment…in fact I probably will refuse to…"Kelly began to speak.

Dylan's eyes popped open with surprise, and his face did not hide the disappointment shown.

"Dylan, I love that you feel the way you do; however, in years to come I won't need to look back on this moment to remember what I felt for you. I love you now, but in the future I know that I will have grown to love you even more. No matter what happens with us, where we go, and who we grow to become. All I will have to do is look at you, and I will feel an even greater love. We may fight and say things we don't mean, but I will still love you, and nothing will ever change that. There will be times when it will be easier to just wipe you out of my head, because we're being nasty to each other, but if given the choice right now, or in fifty years to have you erased from my memory for something less complex I would tell whoever is giving me the offer to take a hike. In the end of all of it it's all worth it, because I have you." Kelly ruffled Dylan's hair a little bit, and couldn't hold back the tears. Here was the love of her life lying before her at death's door. She knew Dylan was losing hope, and the words he was speaking were of his death. Kelly would not condone such talk. She would not allow him to think that in fifty years to come he would not still be around. It was foolish to her, plain and simple. Dylan had been through to much in life, and this was not the way that he was meant to die.

"I can't see fifty years from now. Kelly I can hardly see tomorrow." Dylan voice carried great sorrow.

"It's a good thing I have better vision then you," Kelly smiled through her tears, "because I see it clearly, and we're lying in bed just like this. We're old, we're in love, and most importantly you're safe from the darkness."

Dylan sat up abruptly, he looked into Kelly's eyes, and in a shaky voice the words flew out, "I don't want to die never being married to you."

Kelly's heart stopped beating for a moment. Her mind went back to a few days ago when Dylan had proposed while being completely light headed. He had been serious, he had been thinking about this. Though the way he had said it was totally ridiculous, because of the sickness he was feeling, Dylan had still meant the words he had spoken. Kelly stood up from the bed; she walked around the room a little, and then looked back at him.

"Dylan, tell me the truth. Do you really want to marry me, or is this some sort of a delusion?" Kelly feared for the answer to come.

"Do you even have to ask that? The only delusions I have ever had is the idea that I'm meant to be alone. I shut down after Antonia died, because I didn't believe in happy endings after that. For the longest time I have looked at you, because I know that you are the one who can start my heart back up again. You're the one that I can still have a happy ending with, and without you it all falls apart. I want to marry you, because of the way you laugh. I want to marry you, because of how defensive you become in an argument. I want to marry you, because you're not afraid to tell me when you think other celebrities are hot. You want a whole list of the things I love about you; I'm prepared to hand it over! I want to marry you, because your flaws are apart of your strength. I love that you are absolutely terrible at Volleyball. I love the fact that you drag me to a million shoe stores in Paris…okay no…even I can't love that. Okay, but I do love the way you're not afraid to share your opinion. And I love that you stand by your morals and your beliefs. You don't give into other people's judgments, and how you're always willing to approve…"

Kelly leaped on the bed and kissed Dylan full of life and passion. She couldn't handle any more of his rant, and she knew that he was sincere. Never could she imagine that it was possible for a man to love both her weakness and her strengths all at once. The fact was she knew that she loved him too, and for years it had been her dream to have a wedding with him. There was nothing standing in the way now, she was free to be happy and be with the man she loved. There was no need to hide her feelings, because it was known to the public. As for trusting Dylan, looking back on the past he had never given her a reason not to trust him, surprisingly he was the only guy that had not betrayed her in some way that she had dated.

She pulled away from the kiss, her hands still holding his face, "I want to marry you too Dylan. I want to have a family, live in a house, and maybe even get a dog. I want my dreams to come true, because I know they are the same as yours."

"With a few minor details…a dog?" Dylan sat up and looked at Kelly quizzically.

"We'll talk about that later." Kelly grabbed onto him again, and kissed him with more power than she thought she could ever muster.

The days may have been growing long, and the nights may have been growing longer, but the challenges they faced were done for love. What was to come next, they didn't know, and they didn't care. They were going to face it together, whatever that meant.


	11. Chapter 11: One Push to Far

Chapter 11:

One Push to Far

Hungry shoppers flooded the escalators, stores, and food courts thinking about where to exercise their credit card next. Anyone could recognize the smell in the air as being filled with debt, teenagers, or a bad divorce. However, shopping for leisurely fun was not uncommon in Beverly Hills either. It was not the kind of fun that Dylan was looking forward to having that day…especially on a Saturday when all the kids were free from their classes. It was time like these he wished he lived in France where children had to go to school for half the day on a Saturday.

"Dylan are you coming?" Steve Sanders asked his friend who was starring off into space.

"Yeah, I am. I was just thinking about how much I hate it here." Dylan pointed out as they walked past the stores.

"What's your deal with this place? It's a mall, you can buy stuff. You of all people I would think would want to use that privilege to its advantage." Steve never got tired of poking fun at Dylan's bank account.

"Oh you're a real hoot to be around." Dylan exclaimed dryly.

"What's eating at you?" Steve slowed down his pace, so Dylan didn't have to trudge behind him so much.

"Nothing is eating at me."

"Having second thoughts already?"

"No, it's like I said. I don't like being here, all these people. Next to that I'm tired, and I just want to crawl back into bed" Dylan complained as they reached the store.

Steve quickly stopped Dylan before allowing him to enter in the store. It wasn't like him to get so serious so quickly, but it was no hidden secret that what Dylan was going through was a serious situation.

"Isn't there anything you could do to get more energy?" Steve looked at Dylan with nothing more than sheer worry.

"Like what? I can't sleep, I feel awful all night. What's great is when I do sleep I wake up and I'm still exhausted. The best though is how miserable I can tell it's making Kelly. Oh yeah cause when I sleep she sleeps, and when I'm awake she's awake, and guess what…I'm never asleep!" Dylan gazed at Steve with tired eyes.

"You're like a little baby." Steve pointed out not meaning it the way it sounded.

"That's real great." Dylan walked into the store.

"That's not what I meant," Steve chased after Dylan in the store, "What I meant is when it comes to babies mothers are suppose to sleep when their baby is sleeping."

Dylan turned and looked at Steve amused, "How do you know that?"

"I guess when the package is this pretty no one wants to see what's inside," Steve laughed showing that his vanity wasn't sincere.

"Moving on…"Dylan leaned over the counters and started looking at the diamond rings that were on display, "I have no idea which one of these Kelly would like best."

"Why don't you just bring her down here with you, and let her pick it out." Steve inquired while checking around.

"Where's the romance in that?" Dylan gave Steve a questionable look, and quickly put his focus back on finding the perfect ring.

"You planning something McKay?"

"Yes."

"What?"

"Do you honestly think I'm going to tell you?" Dylan laughed to himself.

"Why wouldn't you tell me?" Steve looked up at Dylan offended.

"You didn't exactly prove that you were very trustworthy when you learned of Kelly's pregnancy. Aren't you how Janet found out?" Dylan didn't show any anger in his voice, he was just being factual.

"Well then now is my chance to redeem myself, you know, like a comeback!" Steve practically shouted.

"Look, honestly, its not that I don't trust you. I planned it for Kelly, and I want Kelly to be the first person that knows what is going to go on there. It's for her, so that's the way it should stay until it actually takes place." Dylan stated gently.

"Fine, I don't need to know. I am perfectly content with being on the outside of this." Steve declared painfully.

"It's killing you isn't it?" Dylan asked without looking up, he knew full well what the answer was.

"Oh so much" Steve knocked his head against the counter.

"You got a real proposal! I thought he was just out of it the first time he asked." Donna threw her arms around Kelly.

The Peach Pit was pretty busy, and people walking by the booth were curious to find out what all the love was about. They weren't going to stop and just listen in, but if they were lucky enough to have a table next to the two they were in for dinner and show.

"So did I," Kelly hugged her friend back, "it's all happening so fast. It's unbelievable. A month ago I was desperately in search of figuring out what my heart wanted, along with figuring out what to do about this baby. Now I'm pregnant, I know what I'm going to do about it, and I'm getting married to the man of my dreams. I'm marrying the man I've thought about for years. All the waiting, the longing, that torture is over. It's really finally happening." Kelly smiled to herself envisioning her wedding day.

"As long as he doesn't back out," Gina's cold voice was heard from behind them.

"Oh look its Gina, someone who is always a pleasure." Kelly's sour tone was clear.

"Don't worry I'm not going to stay long. I'm just here to tell you that you're in for a real disappointment. Dylan can only commit to one person, and that's himself. You know, I almost feel sorry for you." Gina showed no sympathy.

"I bet your heart is just breaking. Look Gina, Dylan may have had a problem committing to you, but that's not my fault. I'm not you, in fact I have a very deep connection with Dylan, and he's committed to me in the past, and he's very serious about it now. So why don't you bring your jealousy somewhere else." Kelly sat back a little bit in her seat.

"Gina, I know you're hurt, but starting something with Kelly every time you see her isn't going to help you." Donna stood up to attempt to comfort her cousin.

"Don't bother getting up Princess, why don't you just hang out with your little friend." Gina demanded coldly.

"Look Gina, I know what I did wasn't right. I don't know what else you want me to do. It wasn't right in the aspect that I knew he was seeing you. What do you want from me?" Kelly looked at her sincerely; there was no anger or rage in her voice. At this point Kelly just wanted to know what she needed to do to end the drama between her and Gina.

"You can go to hell first off. I don't need your pity! I don't want either of your pity," Gina looked turned from Kelly to Donna, "The fact is, you slept with my boyfriend, you got knocked up, and now you're marrying him."

"Yes, we know this. I'm not saying that you and I will ever been friends, had this not happened, we still probably wouldn't have ever have been friends. I'm sorry that I don't go home every night torn up over what I did to you, because quite frankly I don't owe you anything. Yes, it was wrong to sleep with someone that was involved with someone else, but you can't play the innocent card. You made Noah believe he slept with you, because you wanted to see Donna and Noah's relationship crumble. That just happened recently too. I guess its called karma." Kelly tilted her head as she threw the facts out.

"What I did there has absolutely nothing to do with what you did with Dylan." Gina put her full focus on Kelly forgetting Donna's existence for the time being.

"That may be so, but what I'm saying is you have a knack for hurting other people, so you can't expect not to get hurt back. You can make all the cruel comments you want in the world, and I'm okay with that, but you're forgetting one person in this equation and that's Dylan. I don't see you trying to make his life a living hell." Kelly looked at Gina with an expression that stated she was ready to fight if she needed to fight.

"Dylan's life is already a living hell if you haven't realized it. Believe it or not even I have boundaries." Gina muttered the last part to herself.

"Good, I'm glad that you at least realize that." Kelly stood up ready to leave.

"Oh and what else is it that I need to realize?" Gina walked a bit closer to Kelly as if she were bringing a challenge on.

"You need to understand that where as I get why you're bringing me all kinds of hell, and I'm okay with that, even though you're doing this it's not going to change anything. You don't have to pretend you like me, you don't have to want to be okay with any of this, but you need to act like an adult about it. Making a scene in a restaurant is absurd. This has been out on the table for a month now, you have known for a month, and you're still making a show. How is that helping you? How are you going to move on from this if you keep living in the past? I don't say that to be a bitch, I say that honestly. You got hurt, and your anger is understandable, but the comments and making a scene has to go, because you're only hurting yourself." Kelly turned toward Donna as an indication that she was leaving, and then she headed for the exit.

"Wait Kelly, you forgot something." Gina sounded almost sweet.

Kelly turned around, and she saw Gina charging at her. Her reaction time was to slow, and Gina shoved Kelly into the counter top, her back hitting up against it. Kelly sunk to the floor totally stunned. Gina herself looked stunned; she hadn't expected Kelly to go flying like that. In fact, she hadn't expected it to give any kind of a result at all. Gina figured Kelly's reaction time would be alright, and Gina would end up running towards the counter, picking up a plate of food and shoving it on Kelly's shirt. It had all been planned out, but instead Kelly hadn't gotten out of the way as expected.

Kelly looked down towards where the baby was, and she felt the pain in her back. She knew this screamed out trouble, and she herself couldn't control herself from screaming.

"MY BABY! WHAT DID YOU DO?" Tears streamed down Kelly's face through worry and anger. She felt Donna rush to her side, and she knew that a trip to the doctor awaited.


	12. Chapter 12: You might just get what

**Chapter 12:**

**You might just get what you need:**

Tick –tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, went the sound of the clock. Such an obvious notion, but silence brings out obvious actions. Waiting, sitting, breathe from the lungs as they let out the air. Shut of the eye lids when the body grows weary. Clench of the teeth when the news is given. Time is interminable, and when it does move forward it's a toss in the air, will you want to go back in the past? Go back to when the news was never given. Time is spent wanting to go forward, but sometimes when you get what you want, you'll do whatever it takes to return it for something you need.

Dylan sat with his doctor in the office the day after his routine check –up. His doctor sat with a serious look on his face. It wasn't looking good, and quite frankly Dylan didn't feel all too well either. What would the test reveal? The office was boring, gray, carpet, medical books; there was nothing comfortable about it. The smell was stale, and the lights were enough to give anyone a headache. Dylan couldn't fathom how anyone could choose to work in an environment like this. His doctor was an older, round man. He reminded Dylan of Santa Claus. Finally, Santa looked up from his file.

"I have some very serious news Dylan." Santa was not smiling his usually inviting smile.

"Just give it to me straight." Dylan requested with fortitude.

Santa took his glasses off rubbing them nervously, "It appears you've become a lot weaker. Your heart can't take the stress anymore. I'm afraid if we don't find a new heart for you soon, well, you may not make it to Christmas so to speak."

Dylan rolled his eyes, _leave it to Santa to bring up Christmas…at least a Santa wanna be. _ _Next to that, Santa needs to work on his bed side manner a tad, _"Okay, how long before…well…I go?"

Santa let out a sigh, "Worst, worst, worst case, I would say six months."

Dylan now wished he were back in the waiting room, waiting for his appointment; an appointment that would never come.

Cycling round and round, but never are they broken. The days seem to repeat themselves in different fashions. If only for one moment could time pass without a heavy mind, a just to hold, and to be held. Simple moments in life mean the most. All these big events waited, hoped for, created to end boredom. What do they give us? What do they mean? The peace, the silence, the purity of one's heart on top of another's was not just a pleasure, but a privilege. Not everyone can click their heels and obtain such a gift. A moment between two people where there is total understanding in what each other needs despite what each other want. A craving Dylan never had gotten satisfied. A craving most people don't get satisfied, because answers come first over emotion. Curiosity and doubt takes a toll on the finest people.

"You've been staring at that cup of coffee for a half hour. What's the trouble?" Nat sat across from Dylan at the Peach Pit in a corner booth.

"It's nothing…everything…they're one in the same these days." Dylan looked up at Nat trying to keep an emotional expression off his face.

"You worried about the baby?" Nat inquired.

"Yeah," Dylan didn't lie, it was a legit worry of his, even if it wasn't his most recent worry, "Kelly is home now, on bed rest."

"Cheer up. I'm sure the doctors will keep a good eye on her." Nat offered a sympathetic smile.

"Assuming these doctors know what they're doing. One minute they say everything is according to plan, nothing to worry about, just put it off till the time comes, and then the next minute you're being written off." Dylan became aware of his ramble and stopped suddenly.

"Dylan, what are you talking about?" Nat looked at him dumbfounded.

"Nothing, I'm just not willing to put all my trust in one doctor."

"Then what are you planning to do?"



"What can I do? Facts are facts and you have to take them as they're given to you. You have to believe that it's the truth, and if it's not you lay there helpless like you've been all along. Now, suddenly you realize it. You notice your whole life you've been a pawn in someone's game. Nothing was ever yours. Now that what wasn't yours is taken away from you, it's just icing on the cake. That hole your stomach has had just widened, and slowly it'll become wider and wider until you dissipate.

Nat stared at Dylan unsure of how to respond. He quickly jumped up, "You need a piece of pie." He was off like a bolt of lightning, and Dylan didn't blame him for a second.

Steve stared at Janet contemplating. They had been working silence all morning, well Janet had been working while Steve zoned. Finally, she had had it. She got up and leaned over his desk with an angry face.

"I understand that our priorities have not always been on the same level, but we still have a dead line, and I can't carry this whole paper myself all the time, because quite frankly when I do it puts me in a very foul mood."

Steve bolted out of his char and as she did he sang loudly, "I have an IDEAAAA!"

Janet didn't bat an eye.

Steve looked at her filled with excitement, "Dylan is ill, Kelly is…bad and we're all flustered. Put all of this together and what do you get?"

Janet didn't miss a beat, "suicide."

Steve's face quickly dropped, "No." His face lit up again. "Party! I'm talking P-A-R-T-Y! We could invite all our friends back. Brandon, Brenda…you didn't meet her; Andrea, Val. We could have a reunion! How's that for raising everyone's spirits?"

"You just want another reason to let that boisterous animal out of you." Janet didn't seem impressed.

"What's wrong with this idea? It could be a surprise for Kelly and Dylan."

"Nothing is wrong with the idea. How do you know you'll be able to get everyone out here?" Janet inquired.

Steve picked up the phone, "We won't know until we ask them. MWAHAHAHA!"

Lying in bed all day was not all it was cracked up to be. Kelly could not imagine being forced to lie there for another seven months. By some miracle she had not lost the baby, but she was now bed ridden, and she had Gina Kincaid to thank for it. There was a knock on the door. _Finally company! _Kelly could use a conversation to entertain her.

"Come in." Kelly sat up.

Gina entered and Kelly's face immediately lost all signs off happiness. "I heard the baby was okay…" Gina's voice trailed off.

"Yes, the baby is okay, but not great Gina. I'm in such a risky position now, "Kelly sighed. "Why are you here?"

"I'm done causing you grief, at least over Dylan. I don't forgive you for what you did and you won't ever forgive me for what I did. Maybe we should leave it at that?" Gina stood keeping emotion out of her voice.

"You want to call a truce? Now? Look Gina, I won't go out of my way to make your life hell, I've never tried to, but we can't be around each other. At least, I don't want to be around you, and that feeling is mutual."

"You stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours."

"Sounds like a good plan to me." Kelly raised an eyebrow.



Gina turned and walked away. She reached the door out of the apartment, but when she opened it she was quickly started. A moment passed where she only looked at him. She hated him, because loved him, and because he couldn't love her.

"I'm leaving town," was all Gina could get out.

"Am I the cause of that?"

"No, not really, I need a fresh start. This really isn't the right town for me. "

Dylan nodded his head, his thoughts owned by the news he had just received from his doctor, "Well, I hope you find what you're looking for."

"Me too." Gina gave him one last look, and then walked past him.

Smiling happily when Dylan entered the bedroom, Kelly quickly took him in her arms and gave him a kiss. They lie in bed not speaking, but holding each other was enough. It was all Dylan could muster up enough strength to do. Kelly worried immensely about the baby all the time, and since Dylan learned the new he worried too. Now, he couldn't bring himself to worry her about two things. He couldn't bring her to worry about the baby, and his condition.

"Why was Gina here?" Dylan was curious about the issue.

"She wanted to call a truce. What did you say to her?" It was now Kelly's turn to be curious.

"Nothing about what she did to you. I wanted to, but it probably wouldn't have helped matters. Besides she does feel badly." Dylan lied, truthfully saying something to Gina had not crossed his mind. He was in too much shock then, he was in too much shock now. He didn't want Kelly to know though. Her body couldn't handle the stress, and it shouldn't have to.

Kelly felt Dylan's arms around her. They were close, but so far away. Not in a physical manner, but emotionally something was wrong. She didn't answer his response about Gina, because he made a good point, it wouldn't have helped matters, and the yelling would have caused her to yell, and their fake truce would be off the table. Still, she new Gina's actions had upset Dylan. At the hospital he was fully prepared to give her a piece of his mind. What had changed? What had caused him to change his feelings?

Kelly was not a stupid woman, and she was very good at reading people. She did not believe a word what he was saying. She knew he didn't believe what he was saying either. She knew for some reason he had fibbed. It was very clear that there was a lie hidden beneath it all. Kelly fully intended on uncovering it, and finding out exactly what was wrong with the man who would own her heart forever, but not tonight. Tonight she knew he needed silence, he needed to process something. The obvious actions have to be noticed; they would breathe, and close their eyes as their body grew weary. For now a peaceful silence, arm in arm, was all they wanted, but soon Kelly would trade it for something needed…answers.

Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock, Tick-Tock


	13. Chapter 13:Patience is a Virtue

**Chapter 13:**

**Patience is a Virtue **

Birds fly south for the winter whilst bears hibernate beneath the cold winter's blow. After nine months for human, on average 62 days for a dog, and five weeks for a Nakita fly, a baby will be born. After 21 days of just one chemo cycle and a lifetime of waiting for a donor to save a person the end can be extended or brought to your doorstep. The same goes for kidney transplant, a liver transplant, and the ever popular and ever dangerous heart transplant. A bird could be flying to get some warmth down in Georgia, trying to look for a nice place to lay her eggs, only to find out that her husband's heart has stopped beating. All this little birdie wanted was to have a nice family, now she's stuck teaching her bird baby to fly on its own. No chance in any heart transplants for her husband, and unfortunately the same tragedy goes for momma humans and daddy humans as well. The hospital is filled with the fatal end.

Brandon sat on the couch after work watching television. He had had a long day and needed the chance to relax. Suddenly the phone rang besides him. He looked at it for a minute debating if he should answer or not. He finally picked it up figuring his day couldn't get worse.

"Hello." Brandon answered sounding unenthusiastic.

"Hey Buddy, it's Steve."

Brandon sat up surprised, "Wow, Steve, is that really you?"

"Of course, who would make that up? Well anyway, some stuff has gone on over here, and I think it's a good idea to get everyone together."

"What's happening? I've only been gone for like half a year. Now I should right on back?" He laughed a little knowing he wouldn't mind seeing everyone again.

Steve sighed trying to figure out where to begin, "You're not going to like it, but you should know upfront. Dylan is back in town."

Brandon smiled, "That's great, when did he come back? Why wouldn't I like that? Oh…" Brandon's voice trailed off. His thoughts automatically went to Kelly. He should have figured that if Dylan was back in town and with him out of the picture, that Kelly and Dylan would find each other back in each other's arms.

"Yeah…but you said it yourself. You and Kelly are the same half of the same circle." Steve hoped using Brandon's own reasoning would make the blow less difficult.

"Oh I know. I also know that I'm all the way out here. She was bound to move on eventually. It's just hard knowing that it's with my best friend, but then again if Kelly and I had gotten married Dylan would be feeling the same thing." Brandon's mind continued to race. Dylan was always the one who had to feel this. Brandon wasn't with Kelly when Dylan was, but Dylan had been around when Brandon was with Kelly. Now he knew the bitterness of what Dylan was feeling. _I guess I understand why he made such a big scene at that charity event when he first found out._

"That's true, but do you still have feelings for Kelly?" Steve inquired.

"I do Steve, I do. I also know it's not meant to be; otherwise we would have gotten married. We both backed out. It wasn't like I backed out, and then realized it was a mistake. We both did it. There's a reason why we both felt that way." Brandon was trying to reassure himself.

"But you're still not happy for Kelly and Dylan?"

"Happy isn't something I can be Steve. Not after our history. Angry, no I'm not angry. I don't know what I am. I'm not mad, but I'm not happy. I'm somewhere between the two." Brandon explained his confusion.



"Well then, you're going to be really unhappy when I share this next piece of news." Steve started playing with the phone cord in his office.

"Don't tell me they are getting married." Brandon rolled his eyes.

"Uh…then who do I tell?"

"Are you kidding me? What else? Please! Is she pregnant too?" Brandon thought he was blowing things out of proportion.

"Uh…."

"Oh my God!" Brandon jumped off the couch, "Okay now I'm angry! Please Steve, tell me! What was the point of this phone call again?"

"I knew you weren't going to take this well."

"No kidding? How would you feel if you found out that David and Claire were getting married and having a baby?" Brandon sat back down on the couch trying to calm down.

"Look man, there is a reason why I think we should all get together, it's…"

Brandon quickly cut him off, "Don't tell me anymore Steve. Don't go there! Not right now. I can't handle it. You've given me enough information for one day, and I think it's safe to say that I can't go to this little shin dig that you're putting together. Dylan and Kelly are having the future that I was suppose to have with Kelly! You want me to sit back and watch that?"

"You're the two that decided that that future was not going to happen. It wasn't meant to happen. I know it's hard to see Kelly move on with her life, but it's what has to happen. Both of you need to move on with your lives." Steve found himself lecturing, which was very unlike him to do. He didn't like being shouted at and blamed when there was a legit reason that he called.

"I'm trying to move on, and I would be fine if she had moved on as well. Why does she have to move on with Dylan? Why does it have to be him?" Brandon let out a frustrated sigh.

"Why not Dylan? Who else would you prefer that it be Brandon? Some stranger, well at least you know Dylan does care about her. Isn't that what matters. If you love someone, truly love them, then what makes you happy is by them being happy? It sucks since its Dylan and he is your friend, but you know what it sucked for him to when it was you. The situation sucks, and one of you is always going to have to feel that pain as long as she is with the other one of you. So you need to stop letting Kelly's love life rule your life." Steve leaned back in his chair. This was not what he had bargained for.

Brandon felt like he and Steve had switched places. Brandon was always the one giving Steve the advice, and Steve had always been the one making fatuous judgment calls. Now there he was listening to Steve's advice, "I can't be happy for them Steve. You are right, and I do have to move on. I just haven't found the right one. I don't think I'm ready to go to some party and see that Kelly has. No matter who she is with I don't think I'm prepared to see that. Unless you can give me one good reason on why I should, well I'm sorry Steve, but I can't."

Steve shook his head annoyed and blurted out the poignant truth, "Dylan is dying."

Brandon's eyes widened, "What?"

"He has a heart disease and if he doesn't get a transplant he will die. He's getting worse and worse. As far I know the doctors haven't given him any time limit, which is good, but the fact still remains, without a new heart he won't make it."

Brandon's jaw practically hit the floor; he didn't know what to say. Suddenly he forgot everything that Steve had just told him about Kelly and Dylan, and his mind could only focus on Dylan. He now knew that he had to go back to Beverly Hills. This could be the last time he ever saw his best friend.

The sun beamed down on all the beach goers. Dylan watched them from Kelly's apartment. He wanted to be down there. He wanted to be surfing, but there were no way he would last the rough waters, let alone the walk down there. He sat on the couch and looked up the ceiling feeling like a couch potato. 

Kelly walked out and saw Dylan staring at the ceiling. She looked at him contemplating breaking his train of thought. She didn't have to contemplate for long, because he lowered his head and saw her.

"You shouldn't be out of bed. It's bad for the baby." Dylan stated quietly.

Kelly walked slowly over to the couch and sat besides Dylan, "I'm allowed to walk short distances Dylan. I just can't be up for a long time."

"Whatever you say."

Kelly could tell that Dylan was in one of his moods, but that wasn't going to stop her from getting answers from him, "What's on your mind?"

"What do you think?"

"Please don't start answering questions with a question. I know something is up." She looked at him. Her hair was up; she looked like she hadn't gotten much sleep. She still wore her pajamas covered by her pink bathrobe. She knew she wouldn't get sleep until she knew the truth about what was going on.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Dylan didn't share eye contact with her.

"Don't start pushing me away. Not now Dylan, not when we need each other most."

He stood up and started pacing around the room. He didn't want to sit in this room and listen to how he should open up, and how good it would be for him. He knew she was going through a lot with the baby, but he was on the verge of death. He didn't know how to handle it, so how was she suppose to know how to.

"Dylan please say something." Kelly pleaded.

"There are some things I need to deal with on my own."

"There are some things that affect us! There are things that we need to deal with together! We're getting married Dylan! It's not just going to affect you!" Kelly was practically shouting.

Dylan quickly turned to her, "You don't think I know that? You don't think that I don't sit here and realize how badly this screws up everything in your life and our child's life. It's not just me I'm concerned about here!" He turned away. He didn't want to look at her. He couldn't bring himself to continue.

Kelly slowly stood up and took Dylan's hand. She led him back to the couch and had him sit down. She continued to hold his hand while she spoke, "You can't hide what's going on forever Dylan. You can't pretend that it's not going on. You need to tell, because eventually I'm going to find out. It's best I know now then when I absolutely have to find out."

He looked down at the ground. He knew she was right, but he didn't want to say it. He hated talking about things so personal t him, "My doctor told me that worst case scenario I have six months to live. I need a heart and soon or I'm going to die. I just don't have long." He put his head back against the couch cushion wanting the conversation to end.

Kelly put a hand on his shoulder, but Dylan quickly jumped up, "I need to get out of the house for awhile Kelly."

Kelly started up at Dylan knowing that she couldn't chance after him, "Dylan please don't go! Don't push me away! "

He turned to Kelly, "I'll be back. I promise. I just need to clear my head." He walked outside and let a tear slide down his cheek. It was tears that he feared Kelly seeing the most.

Brenda sat on the phone with her brother. She had heard the news about Kelly and Dylan. She had heard the news about the disease. She had taken it better then Brandon, but she and Dylan had been apart a lot longer than Brandon and Kelly had. Of course, the disease still stunned her. She hadn't stepped foot in Beverly Hills in years, but there was nothing that was holding her back.



"Do you think you can stomach seeing those two together?" Brandon sounded bitter.

"I've done it before. It's nothing new." Brenda pointed out.

"Right, you're a pro." Brandon sighed.

"Look Brandon, you can't let them know that it bothers you. Why give them the satisfaction?"

"I don't think they're looking for satisfaction out of my reaction. Steve told me at the end of our phone call this whole thing is a surprise. Dylan and Kelly won't even know about it. They think they belong together."

"Okay, look…the fact is where going there to see Dylan. He's sick and we're there to be his friends. That's all. There's no need for jealously or to play mind games with people." Brenda said in a confident voice.

"I'm not interested in mind games. That's more Val's department. Speaking of Val, she's my next call. I told Steve I'd get in touch with everyone for him since he's got enough crazed problems back home."

"Wait, when is it?" Brenda asked quickly.

"Oh right, this Saturday. Can you make it?"

"Yeah, I don't have rehearsal that day."

"Good, I'll see you then."

Brenda hung up the phone and laid back on her bed. She knew the minute that Brandon said that Dylan was back in Beverly Hills that Kelly would have sunk her claws into him. The truth was she was still desperately in love with him. She had been holding out hope that Dylan would come to his senses and they would be together. His wife had just died when they got back together. He wasn't ready for commitment or a serious relationship at that point. It was three years later now, and she felt that Kelly had just gotten lucky. She was in the right place at the right time, but now she was going to be in Beverly Hills, and she would find out who Dylan's heart really belonged to.

Dylan sat down on the beach and looked at the waves crashing. He had finally caught his breath after walking down. He was tired and he knew that he shouldn't be here, but he didn't care anymore. He needed the waves to calm him right now. It was harder not being in the water, to not have the cold air cleanse his mind, and make him forget why he had come there in the first place. It was a tradition for him. It was the way of his world. The only way he knew how to deal with his problems; to leave them all behind for the time being. He couldn't do that now, because he would drown. There was no question, but drowning at that moment didn't seem like such a bad scenario. He would be surrounded by water, and that was a love in his life.

Suddenly he felt something touch his shoulder. He quickly turned around and saw David standing over him. He looked up at him and then looked back at the waves. The last thing he wanted was someone else to try and talk to him about what he's feeling.

"You're feeling well enough to be down here?" David questioned as he took a seat next to Dylan.

"I don't need people monitoring my every move." Dylan didn't try to hide his annoyance.

"That's not what I'm trying to do. You don't look so well. I question what you're doing here."

"I'm happy here." The wind blew rapidly hitting Dylan's face.

"You're not happy at home?"

"I didn't say that. I just need to get out of the house or I'm going to go stir crazy."

"Fair enough, look Dylan I know that you have your plate full right now, and it's something you're not willing to talk about. I do have something that I should say despite that. Kelly loves you. Avoiding Kelly and her concerns for you isn't going to make those feelings go away. It won't make things any easier on you or on her." David took a handful of sand and tossed it to his other hand as he spoke.



"What makes you think I'm avoiding Kelly?" Dylan now looked over to him.

"I have eyes Dylan. You wouldn't just leave her when she's stuck on bed rest. You love her to much to ditch her to get a tan. You wanted your space from her."

"People need space."

"Yes, they do, and you need a lot of it. Right now you need her." He wasn't about to hold back.

Dylan looked back out at the ocean, "Don't tell me what I need David. I think I know what I need."

"I've known you for years, give me some credit. I know how you operate. You're upset, you're going through a hard time, you could lose your life. Of course you need time to deal with that, but you also need her. Why can't you open up to her? Or anyone?" David was trying to pry his feelings out of him.

"It's too hard."

"Why?"

"Why do I do anything that I do Dave? I just have my own way of handling things. I just don't like to talk about things. I don't see the good it will do. It's not going to change anything. At the end of the conversation I'm going to be sick and she's going to be upset. What's the use?" Dylan stood up and walked a little closer to the water.

David jumped up and followed him, "The use is by the end of that conversation you two might be upset, but you'll know where each other stands. You have to communicate if you want things to work. Do you want things to work with Kelly?"

"Of course, I do! You know I do." Dylan sounded as though he were insulted that David would think to ask that question.

"Then you have to communicate with her. You're just going to have to be honest or it's not going to work. Why risk losing her again?"

Dylan shook his head and looked down at the sand.

"He just dropped that all on you and then left?" Donna sat next to Kelly on the couch stunned. She had just come home from work where she had found Kelly in tears.

"I don't know what to do Donna. I don't know how to help him. I feel so helpless. I can't get up and take some form of action, and even if I could, what would I do?" Kelly wiped a tear away a tissue. She couldn't stop crying. She felt like she couldn't cry hard enough.

"The only thing you can do is be there for him." Donna commented.

"Yeah, that's real easy. He won't let me. Why do I have to lose him now? I just got him back, we all did really. Why? Just so he could be taken away again? Why get close to someone if you're just going to lose them." Kelly continued to cry.

Donna put her arms around Kelly, "You don't know that you're going to lose him Kelly. You can't go and end his life like that. He might still get a heart."

"He could get a heart, but his body is weakening Donna. What if his body is too weak to survive the surgery," Kelly shook her head, "This just isn't right."

"No, it's not right. It's really not fair, but things in life aren't always fair. We can't understand why they happen, but we just have to believe that there is a reason for it." Donna rubbed Kelly's back trying to reassure her.

"I see no reason for this. I just want to talk to Dylan. I need to talk to him. I hate it when he does this. He just up and leaves when he needs to. I've always loved him, that won't change, but I always hated it when he did that. He does it over everything that's uncomfortable for him. He just shuts down! I can't handle that, not right now. I don't need the stress; my body literally can't take the stress." Kelly ranted a little and looked at Donna wondering how much she had scared her at this point.



Right when Kelly got finished with her little speech the door opened. Donna and Kelly looked over to see who was walking in. She saw David helping Dylan over threshold. He had his arm around him as he brought him over the couch and sat him down next to Donna. Dylan looked ready to pass out.

"He really needs his rest." David pointed out the obvious.

Donna stood up, "I'll be back, I have to stop by and see Gina." Donna rushed out of the apartment knowing that she needed to give Dylan and Kelly time to talk.

David quickly got the hint and looked at Dylan and Kelly, "I should go help her, you know, find Gina." He raced out of the apartment and after Donna.

Dylan looked at Kelly not sure how to start, "I'm sorry I rushed out of here before."

"Old habits die hard I guess." Kelly stated a little mad.

"What do you want me to do? I can't change who I am."

"I'm not asking you to. I'm just asking you to acknowledge the fact that I'm taking on a risky pregnancy here. I can't have you dropping information on me like that and then leaving. I can't handle it. I don't know how much more we're going to get, because you're in a risky position. "Kelly didn't take her eyes off of him.

"I don't know how to handle this Kelly. I'm not afraid to die; I've put my life on the line before. I'm afraid of knowing that I'm going to die." Dylan had let it slip. He was getting so frustrated with the idea of having to talk that it caused him to actually talk, "Just forget it."

"No! That's what I can't have Dylan. I can't forget it. I can't forget things, because it's more pleasant for you to not talk about them. I understand that there are times when you need to be alone; I need space too, but not all the time! Not right now! Not when you need me and I need you! I'm terrified Dylan! I'm terrified too! I don't want to see this happen to you, because I love you. The difference is I tell you that. I tell you and I feel better that you know where I stand. You should know where I stand so you don't have to guess the time. You don't have to wonder and worry about saying the wrong thing. You have a right to feel however it is you feel right now, but you can't keep it inside, it will only make you sicker."

"I don't want to talk all the time Kelly! I'm not you! I can't just sit here and tell you everything that is on my mind all the time. You have to respect that. You just have to. I'm quieter about how I feel; we all have our own ways of dealing with things." Dylan rolled his eyes and rested against the arm of the couch.

"Fine, I understand that. You've always been like that. My point is it would nice if when you told me something huge you didn't just leave! How would you feel if I did that to you? It would be hard; you wouldn't be able to ask questions if you had any. You wouldn't be able to say what you needed to say. I would like it if you could communicate with me a little more. Can't you try to be a little more open? I'm not asking for you to talk to me all the time about whatever is on your mind. I know not everyone needs to do that to handle their problems, but talking some will help. Without any communication you and I will have nothing," Kelly grabbed his hand and held it tight, "and I don't want that."

"I don't want that either. I guess I still have some things to work on. I'll be more open if you be a little more patient." He smirked.

"That sounds like a deal." She smiled at him and then snuggled with him for the rest of the night on the couch.

There's only one thing worse than dying, and that's dying alone. Could you imagine looking over on your death bed and seeing nothing there, but the leaves shaking from the wind outside the window? You were too busy building up your business, or becoming rich to make these deep connections. You had a trophy wife that didn't really care about you. They say that saying goodbye to the ones you love is the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. The truth is the hardest thing you'll ever have to do is saying goodbye to no one.




	14. Chapter 14:The Circus Comes To Town

**Chapter 14:**

**The Circus Comes to Town**

"You have to be there!" Donna shook her head at her cousin's stubbornness.

"No, I don't." Gina rolled her eyes and sat on the couch in her hotel room.

"You're a part of the group. You belong there." Donna sat down next to her cousin. Gina and she didn't always see eye to eye on everything, but Dona still cared for her; she was family after all. She couldn't back down, they had been fighting for days, but Donna was not going to give up. Blood is thicker than water.

"Since when am I a part of this group? The minute Kelly doesn't like me everyone doesn't like me. Even you have a problem with me now. You didn't stick up for me once when Dylan cheated on me with Kelly. In fact you're over at the beach apartment now wiping his mouth when he drools, because he's too weak to do it herself." Gina looked down on the ground. She didn't mean what she was saying. She loved Dylan and she wanted to be the one taking care of him right now.

"I don't condone what Kelly and Dylan, but the fact is Gina you have caused problems. You made me believe that Noah cheated on me with you at one point!"

"I didn't say that I was perfect, but maybe I'm so sick and tired of seeing everyone get everything they dream of out here, while I always get the shaft!" Gina was starting to yell.

"We work for what we get Gina. We don't try to take it from other people. We don't manipulate it out of each other's hands," it was Donna's turn to look down at the ground now, "this isn't getting us anywhere."

"No, it's not. So go!" Gina was looking flustered. She wasn't going to have the same argument with Donna over and over again.

"Just come to the party!"

"Give me one good reason why I should?" Gina looked as though rays were about to shoot out of her eyes and hit Donna right on the forehead. She was not about to back down.

"Because I want you there! I don't care what everyone else wants, I want you there," Donna stated firmly, "now please tell me you'll come."

The room wouldn't stop spinning. Whether his eyes were open or closed he knew he was spinning. Why can't he stop spinning? Why can't he touch the ground? It was making him sick. He needed to settle his stomach, but the only way to do that would be if he could stand still. He couldn't stand still. He was on a ride that wouldn't end. It was a ride that people would say little kids shouldn't be on, and right now Dylan was that little kid. Somehow he had broken his way on this ride, and now he just wanted to get off.

"Dylan, you don't look so good." Kelly observed looking over at him on their bed.

Dylan didn't respond, he was too busy trying to figure out how to stop spinning.

"Dylan!" Kelly put a hand on his shoulder.

He turned and looked at her, but he still didn't speak. He felt too sick to talk right now.

"What's the matter with you?" Kelly didn't take her eyes off of his face. She noticed the sweat rolling down it. His face was always a little more pale than normal, but right now it was to pale. There was something wrong.

"I want to get off the ride." Dylan buried his face in Kelly's arm.

She rubbed his hair with her hand from her other arm. She had no idea what he was talking about, but it made her more concerned, "David!"

David and Steve were trying to set up the apartment for the reunion they were having that afternoon. They couldn't have it anywhere else, because Kelly was on bed rest, and shouldn't go far. Plus, with Dylan being sick, it was safest to have it somewhere where it is easy for him to crash if he needs to. David and Steve looked at each other panicked. The party was still a surprise for Dylan and Kelly. They couldn't have them catching them now. Steve quickly nodded his head at David, and David slowly made his way to the bedroom. He walked inside, and quickly shut the door behind him.

"What is it?" He looked at Kelly and then at Dylan. He noticed Dylan buried in Kelly's side, but he figured that he was just sleeping.

"Something is wrong with him." Kelly declared panicked.

"What do you mean? He's asleep." David shrugged his shoulders.

"No, he isn't." Kelly gently pushed Dylan over.

Dylan looked up at David while beads of sweat slid down face and soaked his shirt.

David quickly walked over to the bed and put his hand on Dylan's forehead, "God he's burning up."

"You should take him to the hospital."

David sighed; he couldn't ignore taking Dylan to the hospital, because it would ruin the surprise. His friend's health is more important than a party. He quickly scooped Dylan up, quickly changed his clothes as Dylan stared up at him helplessly, and carried him out of the room.

Steve looked over at David wide eyed and quickly spread his arms out real wide as if that would block the whole room from Dylan's vision.

"Yeah…it's invisible now." David rolled his eyes and walked towards the door.

Steve quickly rushed after him, "What's going on? Is he okay?"

"I got to take him to the hospital, he's burning up, and…well not doing much of anything. I'm sure they can lower his fever," David heaved a sigh, "hopefully it won't be all night."

"If it is we'll just bring the party there. I'm sure Kelly will be fine at a hospital. It's probably the best place for her anyway."

David nodded his head and headed towards the car. He buckled Dylan in, and got in the driver's seat. He was off to the hospital afraid of what they would find.

Steve walked into Kelly's bedroom and saw her sitting on her bed nervously. He took the chair from her desk and sat down in it by her. Kelly looked over at him surprised.

"When did you get here?"

"Ah, I've been here for a little while. I was hanging with David." It wasn't a total lie Steve thought. David and he were sharing quality time together setting everything up.

"So, you saw David take Dylan out?" Kelly was playing with the blankets a little.

"I did. It was weird."

"Why?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not use to Dylan letting us help him, he always pushes us away. It was weird seeing him so helpless like that."

"Steve, I don't think Dylan even knew where he was. It wasn't a question of Dylan not being himself; it was just him being that sick. He's getting worse and worse."

"I think he's sicker then he's telling us." Steve hadn't given it much thought before, but after seeing Dylan that out of it, he knew it was the truth.

Kelly didn't respond. She knew more than Steve knew. She knew more than any of them knew. It wasn't safe for her to respond. Dylan would tell them all when is ready.

"I'm sorry; I shouldn't be making this anymore stressful on you." He stood up and walked out of the room.



Kelly stood up and walked over to her dresser to find her diary, she looked down and noticed Dylan's suitcase had been flipped over. She flipped it back around when a few items fell out. She leaned down slowly and noticed a box. Curiosity got the best of her and she opened it. There inside was the ring that he had bought with Steve. He had never given it to her, because he was planning something. Kelly smiled to herself and closed it. She sat on the ground holding the box as a tear slid down her face. Dylan was serious about her. She knew it before, because they were engaged. Holding the ring box was seeing Dylan's feelings. It was rare that anyone got the chance to see them let alone feel them with your own two hands. "I can't lose you now."

Pandora was a very nosy person, and because of this she's the reason why all the bad happens in the world. If she could have kept her hands to herself, the world would be butterflies and rainbows. Unfortunately for the world there are curious people all about, so that box keeps getting opened. Though it's not a box anymore, it's a can; a can of worms. Like people, ideas evolve. They change to fit the current time period. Whether it's on fashion, or a saying, or a love interest, things change. As long as time moves forward and society as a whole changes, ideas will too.

_Knock knock._

It was five o'clock. Everyone was at the apartment. Kelly still was in bed clueless of the guests about to show up. The only people currently living in Beverly Hills that were missing were David and Dylan, who still weren't back from the hospital. Steve quickly rushed to the door to answer it. He smiled when he saw Andrea and Brandon standing in front of him. He gave them each a hug.

"Did you two come together?" Steve gave his you-dirty-dog expression.

Andrea laughed, "No, we didn't. We just ran into each other outside. It's crazy."

They both walked inside and greeted everyone.

"Where are the guests of honor?"Brandon inquired.

"We're waiting for everyone to get here before we bring Kelly out." Donna commented.

"What about Dylan? Is he so special he gets to come out before her?" Brandon joked.

"David took Dylan to the hospital or so I heard." Gina took a shot of whiskey.

"Gina!" Donna scolded.

"What? It's a party right?"

"It's also five o'clock in the afternoon." Brandon announced.

"And you are?" Gina looked at him annoyed.

"Brandon Walsh." He put out his hand.

"Oh right. God," Gina walked over to Matt, "Why are we here again?"

"We're part of the group." Matt stated under his breath.

"Donna gave you that speech too?" Gina asked

"Yup." Was all Matt answered.

_Knock Knock_

Steve rushed over to the door answering it. He wouldn't admit it out loud, but he liked the power of being the host, and the responsibilities of the job. He felt like someone important. He smiled when he saw Brenda standing there.

"Hey you!" He gave her a hug.

"Hey you back!" Brenda smiled. She couldn't believe how different Steve looked since she last saw him. She went in and greeted everyone.

"I never thought I would see you again!" Donna gave Brenda another hug. "The last time you saw me I was a total wreck!"



"Oh! That's right, you were heartbroken because…"She went to point to David, but she didn't see him, "Where's David?"

"Hospital Dylan." Steve quickly answered. He figured with everyone that would be coming he would have to speed up the explanation or it was going to become a burden.

"Okay then…" Brenda looked around confused.

"Let me guess, you're another Dylan McKay girl?" Gina stared at Brenda crossly.

"Ah, I'm no one's girl, but I did date him." Brenda stated in her usual strong confident voice.

As time went on people started talking, drinking, eating, and having a great time with each other. Valerie arrived and people seemed to be happy to see her. She had left on good terms with everyone, so people were trying to keep it that way. Jim and Cindy showed up, which Steve and everyone else had not suspected. Brandon had called them and figured that since Dylan was like a son to them, they might want to be here to give their support.

"I think it's time we bring Kelly out." Donna recommended.

"Why? The princess can't be here without her Prince." Gina drunkenly laughed.

"Okay, I think you've had enough." Brandon cautioned.

"Who are you to tell me when I've had enough God?" Gina laughed. Everyone spoke so highly of Brandon Walsh. It was like he could do no wrong in anyone's eyes. She figured he was just like Kelly.

"Come on, let's go for a walk." Brandon took her arm, trying to remove her from the party. He didn't want her to be causing anymore trouble for his friends. Plus, he didn't really want to be see Dylan and Kelly together. He wasn't sure how great that would feel.

"Don't touch me; I can walk on my own." Gina stumbled out on the deck of the beach apartment, and then fell on the stairs into a sitting position.

Brandon sat down by her and looked at her worried, "Are you okay?"

"Oh yeah I'm fine. I'm really great! You know what the best part of all of this is. Most people in there, they don't even like me." Gina started to laugh.

"I can't imagine why, you seem like a lovely person." Brandon responded with a hint of sarcasm.

She stopped laughing and looked at him, "No seriously, they don't like me. Besides Dylan, he liked me. He liked me a whole lot. Well, most of the time. He didn't care that Kelly didn't like me. He once got me a seashell." Gina giggled and looked up at Brandon innocently.

"Dylan has given lots of girls seashells." Brandon stated bitterly.

"Why do you sound so mad about it? Let me guess Princess Kelly in there is one of the girls who you didn't want to get a seashell? Am I close?" Gina looked blankly at him.

"Yes, you're right. If it weren't for her he could give all the seashells out in the world, and I wouldn't have cared." Brandon looked out at the ocean.

"Let me ask you a question." Gina sat up a little.

Brandon turned to her, "Okay."

"Why is she so special?"  
"What do you mean?" Brandon looked perplexed.

"I mean, what makes men lash on to her. Everyone she gets with seems to fall for her. Is there any guy who she dated who was turned off from her? You loved her, Dylan loved her, Steve loved her, and Matt loved her. Why do you all love her so much? I mean, it's okay to fall in love. It's okay to get hurt, and to be hung up on that person for awhile. We all have been there my friend, but why can't any of you seem to move past Kelly Taylor? She's a Barbie Brandon! It's really not healthy for any of you to be so stuck on this one girl. There are plenty of girls out there, why is it that you are all hung up on the same one? Let me put it to you this way. I've heard about your and Kelly's relationship. I heard about the on again off again situation. If you two decided not to marry, don't you think there was a reason for it? It wasn't even just that one of you decided it wasn't right, and the other one got hurt. Now you're realizing you made a mistake. You both felt that way! Why can't you move on from her? Why can't 

Dylan move on from her? Why can't Matt move on from her? Maybe Dylan and Kelly are meant for each other. They never have both almost walked down the aisle. You and Kelly have, you've been that serious, and you both turned away. She isn't that different, or unique, or more special than anyone. Why can't you move on from her?" Gina had been rambling on and on. She suddenly stopped, she now wanted an answer.

Brandon didn't answer right away. He knew that it was a good question, and he wasn't sure that he had the answer to it. "I fell in love with her, that's why. I know a lot of people seem to say that. Perhaps Dylan is a better fit for Kelly then I am, but I still love her. I know that she and I can't work out. I have every reason in my head on why we can't work out. I cheated on her more than once when we were together; I don't see why I have a hard time moving on from her."

"Let me as you something, again. Is it really Kelly that is holding you back from moving on right now? Or is it the fact that you lost her to Dylan? Is it the fact that when Steve called you, which was when you found out Dylan is back with Kelly; is it really that you feel like Dylan won?" Gina asked knowing that she had tapped into something.

"Dylan is my best friend, he's always been there for me when I've needed him, but I do hate the thought that after all these years, and all the times Kelly and I were together, that Dylan is the one that got her in the end. I do love Kelly, but I know it's not the right kind of love to make a marriage work. I hate to admit it, but I think they do have the right kind of love to make a marriage work. I'm not stupid; I saw the way they use to look at each other when Kelly and I were together. I wasn't just with her then, because I thought Dylan would win. I wouldn't do that; I wouldn't use Kelly like that. I wouldn't try to get back together with her now, because I feel like Dylan shouldn't win this ridiculous competition. I know they have true love. I had been doing okay, but when Steve called me, I sunk back into jealously." Brandon couldn't believe he was opening up to a total stranger like this.

"I hate Kelly, I don't think that she deserves Dylan, but I think that they may just end up together. I think that they may just grow old together, because Brandon, I hate to burst your bubble," Gina paused, "but Dylan can't move on from Kelly, because he loves her, not because he doesn't want you to win."

"Back in college Dylan wasn't in town and I still loved Kelly. It had nothing to do with him then. It wasn't a competition to me. Now it is. Now I decided not to marry her, and it's a possessive thing. I don't want her to have Dylan. It's weird, he's my friend."

"And you want to be better than him. It's okay," Gina pointed drunkenly, "you can admit it. We all want to be better than the person we're sitting next to. The fact is you've moved past the idea of marrying Kelly. You know it won't work. Now you have to move past the idea of Dylan being with Kelly. You have no other choice. It's not going to change. I hate it, you hate it, but they don't hate it." Gina glumly pointed out.

Brandon laughed, "Here I thought I would be helping you, and you wound up helping me."

"I can take care of myself."

"I see that." Brandon smiled.

Gina leaned forward and kissed him.

Brandon looked at her shocked, and he knew that he wanted to kiss her back. His heart was opening up again, but he couldn't kiss her. Not now, because she was vulnerable right now. He didn't want to take advantage of her any way, "Come on. Let's get you home," He helped her up, and walked to his car.

After Janet dragged Kelly out of her room, she looked up and saw everyone horrified. She quickly ran back into her bedroom and slammed the door behind her. Steve looked around, he didn't want to be the host anymore.



Inside her room Kelly went to her closet and started throwing clothes around trying to find something decent to wear. Her pajamas and bathrobe were not going to cut it. She couldn't believe she had been given no heads up on this, or at least a false excuse that would have caused her to get ready and look decent beforehand. Janet walked into her room and found her searching through her closet.

"Kelly, it's some friends that you have known for years. You don't have to get yourself so dressed up for this. You don't have to get dressed up at all." Janet dragged her away from the closet and sat her on the bed.  
"I can't look like a slob either, and this isn't exactly attractive." Kelly was flustered.

"So what? Everyone knows what's going on."

"They know! Oh my God!"

"What?" Janet feared what she would say next.

"Well, no offense, but it was my news." Kelly answered annoyed.

"Steve and everyone just wanted to do something nice for you, that's all. You could see some friends; it would be fun for you."

"Well, I will be having more fun if I can get into some clothes and have my hair looking a little decent. Would you want to feel like grim in front of everyone?" Kelly looked cynically at her.

Janet pondered this, and could see where Kelly was coming from. "I'll help you get ready." She turned and headed towards the closet.

Kelly walked out and smiled at everyone looking better. She sat down on the couch quickly, not wanting to put the baby in any harm. After saying hell to everyone, Brenda came over and sat down next to her.

"It's been forever since we've really been able to talk." Brenda smiled.

"God I know, years. We can actually have a meaningful conversation right now." Kelly laughed a little.

"So you and Dylan." Brenda forced a smile, trying to pretend that it didn't bother her, but she was pretty transparent.

Kelly could see the discomfort, so she wondered why Brenda had brought it up, "What about us?"

"I just never thought that you two would get back together. I really thought you'd make it work with my brother."

"So did I, but you know what, some things aren't how they seem." Kelly tried to not get agitated.

"I know, I'm just saying, well you two almost got married for a reason. What did make you realize it wasn't right?" Brenda was trying not to smile.

"It just didn't feel right. Brenda, what is with all these questions?" Brenda was starting to remind her of Valerie.

"Oh, well, I'm just wondering why you're such a bimbo." Brenda stood up expecting Kelly to attack her.

Kelly sat back a little, she was furious, "Oh, so the truth comes out. This is why you really came here, to settle a score."

"Look, I'm over high school; that was child's play. You got with my brother and now you're with his best friend! That doesn't sit right with me!" Brenda shouted.

Everyone looked up and stared when she said that. Right when the words flew out of her mouth Brandon came in and heard Brenda's statement.

"Brenda!" He ran over to her.

"I'm sorry Brandon, but it's true! I'm not going to see her play you guys!" Brenda yelled angrily.

"That's not how it happened." Steve stepped in.

"This has nothing to do with you Steve! This is between me and Kelly!" Brenda glared at Kelly.

"No! This is between Kelly and I," Brandon stated sternly, "This isn't your battle Brenda."

"Like hell it isn't! Dylan was my boyfriend! It affects me to!" Brenda sneered.

"I thought that was just child's play." Kelly threw Brenda's words back in her face.

"That's enough! Brenda, Kelly and I loved each other, but it's not meant to be! That was something that we both decided. Kelly is human; you have more than one boyfriend in your life!" Brandon shouted.

"Unless you're Brenda, then you just have Dylan." Valerie laughed not being able to keep quiet.

"That is not true!" Brenda turned her head at her.

"Oh yes, there was Reeeck!" Kelly laughed imitating Brenda's French accent.

"Okay, making fun of people isn't the way to go about this." Donna stated quietly.

"Donna's right," Brandon confirmed, "This is ridiculous. This is all ancient history. Brenda I'm sorry you have a problem with Kelly, because you're trying to be a good sister and stand by me. I appreciate it, but the fact is I don't need it. I don't see how Kelly did anything wrong here. We both decided not to get married, and then Dylan came back to town, and one thing led to another. That's life. You don't need to protect me." Brandon was completely calm now.

"Thank you." Kelly was grateful to Brandon.

"Fine, I'll just go back to London then." Brenda headed towards the door. It wasn't the first time she had made a scene at a party over a foolish reason.

"No one wants you to leave Brenda." Kelly spoke gently.

Brenda turned around and faced her not trusting herself to speak.

Just then the phone rang. Kelly leaned over and picked it up, "Hello," She paused listening. Her eyes widened, "I'll be right there David!"

People open up the forbidden can, the forbidden box, the forbidden truth all the time, because they have to know what's inside. Everyone has to know the reality of what they're holding. Sometimes what they open is good, and sometimes what they open is tragic. What people never stop and think to ask themselves is; do I really want to know the truth? Do I want to risk spoiling my good day? Should I live in peace without a wonder, without fighting for a better peace? In the end you're going to wind up opening the one box that you can't shut. The worst evil will escape into the world; your world.


	15. Chapter 15:It's Hard To Breath When

**Chapter 15:**

**It's Hard to Breath When the Whole World Falls**

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

That one little sound makes everyone's head automatically think of life or death, either that or someone who is needed at work; maybe a doctor? Those three sounds give people hope, but at the same time they take it away. No one who is attached to that sound is perfectly okay, but they aren't dead either. It causes a plethora of confusion, because no one knows how to feel. Should they be happy? Should they be sad? They usually are a little of both when it's not certain that death will take its revenge. People are not meant to be both happy and sad all the time. They aren't meant to feel that way in an intense circumstance for long periods of time. When they do they lash out on each other, they neglect their responsibilities, and their judgment is obscure.

Kelly sat by Dylan's bed holding his hand. He was sound asleep. They had run some tests and the added stress on Dylan's body was making it worse. His blood pressure was through the roof, and his heart couldn't handle it. Kelly knew she needed to take him somewhere to get his mind off of everything. She needed him to feel relaxed, but with her own condition it was hard to travel, and she hated it. She felt like she was now killing him. His eyes opened and she sat forward.

"I need… to get… out of here." He spoke slowly between breaths.

"You're much too sick to leave Dylan." She cautioned.

"I don't …want to…die in here." His eyes showed determination.

"Don't you dare start speaking in that way? You are not going to die. Right now you need to believe that." Kelly wasn't angry, but she hated it when Dylan was negative.

"Just get me…out of here."

Kelly walked out of the hospital room, she ran into Andrea and Jim Walsh. She found it a little strange that these two were the ones hanging in the hallway off all people, but she let that observation slide by her. Jim and Andrea could see how flustered she was. They all knew the news, and they were confident if Dylan relaxed his body could build some strength back, but it was no secret now that he needed a heart and soon, or within six months he could be gone.

"What's the matter?" Andrea asked.

"He wants to leave the hospital." Kelly stated bluntly.

"What do you mean?" Jim was puzzled.

"He doesn't want to die in here." Kelly looked towards the ground trying not to cry. She felt like all she did was cry.

"That's what he said?" Jim was taken aback by this.

"Word for word." Kelly took a seat on a nearby bench worried about the baby.

Andrea took a seat down next to her when Jim went into Dylan's hospital room. Andrea looked at Kelly sincerely, "Just because Dylan may think he's going to die, that doesn't mean he will."

"Some people hold on, because they feel they have to. I'm waiting for him to do the death the scratch." Kelly felt like screaming.

"The death scratch?" Andrea wasn't sure about what this meant.

"It's a term my mother use to use about my Grandfather earlier this year when he was in the hospital. It's when they start scratching at their sides, and they can't get comfortable. There's another sign, it's when they constantly start playing with their blankets, or when you look into their eyes and you 

can tell that they aren't really here, but their body is still going." Kelly felt nuts saying all of this, but they were signs she was looking for.

Andrea had heard similar things before, but she never usually paid much attention to them. To her a person wasn't dead until they weren't breathing anymore, "Kelly, they may be signs that someone is really sick, but that doesn't mean they are gone yet. Dylan hasn't been doing any of that, has he?"

"No, but I'm waiting for it."

"Don't wait for the worst; you have to take advantage of every moment that is left. Otherwise, is the time you're sharing with that person really worth it if you're both miserable? Even if he starts doing small things like that, it's never been proven that a person who does that is really about to go. It is harder to get comfortable when you're really sick, but that doesn't mean a person can't be saved. I know your Grandfather was a different story, but it doesn't work that way for everyone." Andrea wasn't sure if she was getting through to Kelly, but she knew that she had to try.

"Tonight was suppose to be fun. That was Steve's plan, he wanted Dylan and I to have some fun with our friends. Now look at us, we're all at a hospital, because Dylan can't relax," She sighed, "because Dylan has a weak heart."

"Do you want to blame him?" Andrea blurted the question out.

"What?" Kelly raised an eyebrow.

"Do you want to blame him? It's okay if the answer is yes, many people can find themselves frustrated with the person who is sick, because it's easy to take on." She looked at her not sure if she had found the truth or not.

"Some times in the middle of the night I'm just about to fall asleep and he starts having trouble taking breaths in. I have to sit him up and pat his back, and try to help it along. You can't just make lungs take in breath. He'll get dizzy, because he's not breathing properly, because his heart isn't pumping enough blood. His stomach gets upset and he vomits. I hardly sleep, because it's the same problem in the day. There are times when Donna will sit up with him, and I'll sleep, but she can't do that all the time. I get frustrated, but never with him. I never let him see that. I know it's hurting him more then it hurts me. I'm frustrated that something like this could happen to someone like him. People have their opinions on me and they have their opinions on Dylan, but he does not deserve this. He's a good person, he's got a good heart, and anyone who can't see that has just misunderstood his intentions. I'd never be frustrated with him, not over his disease." Kelly took a breath of her own after that speech.

"What about right now? Are you frustrated with him?" Andrea had a point she needed to make.

"Yes," Kelly admitted, "but not because he's sick. That I could never be frustrated about as I just said. I'm annoyed with the fact that he's not trying to get proper treatment for his disease. He wants to leave the hospital right now. How is he going to get better if he's not receiving the medication that he needs?" Kelly explained her feelings wondering where Andrea was going with all of this.

"You know, Dylan is probably feeling frustrated by you right now too." Andrea cracked a smile.

"Oh I bet he is." Kelly replied smiling herself.

"You and Dylan may not see eye to eye on this, but Dylan is very sick Kelly. The problem is stress, right? Don't you think being in a hospital where he's uncomfortable is just going to stress him out even more?" Andrea wondered.

Kelly thought to herself, "It's more than just stress that is causing all of this."

"Yes, but his blood pressure is way too high. They can give him medication to lower it, and then you can take him where he feels most comfortable. I know he is killing himself off in his head, and maybe that's part of the reason why you're really afraid to listen to him, but perhaps a hospital isn't best for him right now. Later on it may be the only choice, but right now you can work around it." Andrea suggested.

"The doctors can help him get better faster here Andrea." Kelly noted.



"I am a doctor Kelly," Andrea laughed knowing her friend was too upset to remember, "I've seen Dylan's chart, he is very sick. As a doctor, yes I would say he should be kept here until progress is made, but as his friend I would say if he's not comfortable, maybe quality of life is more important than quantity. I see both choices as a gamble."

"Now you're starting to sound like him." Kelly remarked.

"I've always thought Dylan had high intellect." Andrea smiled.

"Oh Andrea, what would I do without you." Kelly laughed.

Dylan sat with his eyes closed. He was thinking about all the times he had been in the hospital before. He remembered when he cracked his ribs surfing. That was when he was in love with Brenda. He remembered when he was in a coma. That was when he was in love with Kelly. He remembered when he had been on heroine the beginning of this year, at that time he was with Gina. Now, here he was, back in the hospital, and Kelly was once more looking out for him. Every time he got dragged down, he was dragging down the person he loved with him.

"Hey Son." Jim spoke softly.

Dylan recognized that voice, but he couldn't understand why he was hearing it. He still had no idea about the party, David and Kelly hadn't told him a thing. Why was Jim Walsh there, and should he be afraid to open his eyes? He worked up the courage, and looked up at Jim, "Hey, Mr. Walsh."

Jim could see the confusion on his face, "Steve decided to throw Kelly and you a party. He invited your friends out, and then Brandon invited Cindy and me out."

"Leave it to Steve to turn this into an excuse to party." Dylan smirked.

Jim grinned as well, "That's exactly what I said. So how are you doing Son?"

"I couldn't be better." Dylan replied sarcastically.

"Kelly tells me you want to check yourself out of here." Jim tattled.

"I'm sure she's off bitching to everyone about it." Dylan looked off to the side not wanting to talk about it.

"She's concerned about you; the truth is so am I. I hope by now you know what you mean to Cindy and me." Jim sat down by his bed now having a feeling this would be a lengthy conversation.

Dylan turned his head back over to Jim, "High school was a long time ago."

"Now Dylan, we may have had our differences over the years, but the truth be told you've always been like a son to me. You became a part of our family. It's more than the fact that you dated Brenda. It's more than the fact that you were Brandon's friend. You and I alone have been through hell together. We've been at each other's throats, and we've helped each other out. Dylan, if one day I got the news that you had passed away, it's a loss that I don't feel I should ever have to live to see. You know how people always say that parents should never have to bury their children; well I know you aren't my child, but you mine as well be. You had your own father, you had Jack, and you two made your peace before he passed away. I'm not trying to take that away by any means, but long story short, I do care about what happens to you." Jim sighed unsure if Dylan grasped what he was saying.

"That means a lot, especially coming from you," Dylan had to admit, part of him loved Jim's approval. He had always wanted a family of his own, which was why the Walshes had been so special to him. He was never sure if Jim liked him or hated him, but now he knew. The reason why Jim would get so angry with him was because he cared. "So I take it this means you're not backing me up on signing myself out of here."

"I didn't say that. I'm saying give it a little time. Why not rest? Let your strength build up a little. Think about where you want to go that'll make you feel comfortable. If the doctors had it their way you'd be in here for awhile, but you and I both know you won't stand for that, even if it is what's best. 

At least let them do their job for a little while, and when you're feeling a little better, then take off." Jim was hoping he could make a compromise.

"I see what you're saying." That was Dylan's only comment.

"Does that mean you'll do it?" Jim inquired.

"I'll sleep on it." Dylan smirked.

"You haven't changed a bit." Jim laughed.

Brenda was waiting in the elevator waiting for it to get to Dylan's floor. She had gone to get coffee and was debating paying Dylan a visit. She kept going over the confrontation with Kelly at the Beach Apartment. She couldn't believe that her own twin brother hadn't stood by her. She still thought that she was right. Kelly was a slut in her opinion. She had taken Dylan from her, then she took Brandon, then she was with this Matt guy she had heard little about, and not to mention the fact that she had been with Steve. It was like David was the only male in this group she hadn't had feelings for. In Brenda's opinion, Kelly didn't know what true love really was. She was playing mind games, and Brenda hated to see it. Dylan had his fair share of conquests, but he didn't go around claiming he loved every single person he dated, and that was the difference. Brenda rolled her eyes; she needed to put a stop to this madness. She needed to confront Kelly alone. She walked off the elevator when it got to her floor. She saw Gina and Brandon down the hallway by Dylan's room. Andrea and Kelly were no longer there. Brenda stormed down the hallway, and Brandon saw the angry look appear on her face.

"Way to stick up for your sister." Brenda stared at him with cold eyes.

"Way to pick a fight with a pregnant woman whose boyfriend is dying." Brandon shot back.

"I had a reason for why I did that. It wasn't like Dylan was there Brandon! If he were there I wouldn't have said anything." Brenda rolled her eyes.

"Oh, so it's okay to pick fights with women who have high risk pregnancy, I see." Brandon couldn't believe his twin was doing this here, but always had had a flare for drama.

"Look Brandon, all I was trying to do was stick up for you!"

"I can appreciate it, but I don't need you to stick up for me. I can stick up for myself!" Brandon was trying not to get angry, but the last thing he wanted was Dylan to hear them arguing outside of his room.

"He's a big boy now." Gina piped in.

"Shut up! You are so annoying!" Brenda was at her wits end.

"I'm annoying? I'm not the one who had a tendency to make scenes in public places." Gina rolled her eyes.

"What do you call your drunken remarks at the beach apartment? Are you even sober yet?" Brenda shouted.

"I have a little buzz." Gina was totally nonchalant.

"That's something to be proud of." Brenda laughed.

"Stop letting your jealousy get in the way. Your behavior is at the point of absurd now." Brandon was now starting to get angry.

"My jealousy? You're the one who called me on the phone all heartbroken, because Dylan and Kelly were getting married and having a child together!"

"Yes, but you're the one who acted on those feelings, not me!" Brandon couldn't believe the words that were coming out of Brenda's mouth.

"I spoke up for you; it had nothing to do with Dylan!" Brenda yelled.

"Oh please! You are so transparent. I hardly know you, and I see that it had everything to do with Dylan. Don't think you're special. You're not the only one who has fallen in love with him and then gotten hurt. I know the feeling, and if he weren't sick I'd probably be doing what you're doing right now, 

but even I have boundaries. Even I know that it's not all about me. Dylan is sick, and Kelly could easily miscarry right now. I'm not about to add to it." _Well add any more to it…_Gina thought to herself.

"Who invited you into this conversation?" Brenda rhetorically asked getting in Gina's face.

"I think at this point it's safe for anyone in this hospital to get involved in this conversation, because you can't keep your voice down." Gina spit on her; she couldn't help it, she was inches away from her face.

"Oh my God! What is the matter with you?" Brenda vigorously rubbed the spit off her face. She leaned forward and pulled Gina's hair.

"Alright enough!" Brandon yelled!

"Ow!" Gina made a fist and punched Brenda right in the face.

Brenda flew to the ground, but quickly got up ready to fight. Jim came flying out of Dylan's room hearing the yelling.

"What is going on out here?" He quickly saw Gina's fist and Brenda holding her face, he ran to her side.

"Gina, let's go." Brandon put an arm around her.

"How can you take her side?" Brenda yelled!

"You pulled her hair!" Brandon yelled back.

"She spit in my face!" Brenda shouted.

"Only after you got in it after you acted like a brat. This behavior may have flown in high school Brenda, but you're an adult now! Why don't you start acting like it?" Brandon stormed off with Gina.

Everyone has a different theory on how to help the ill in the hospital. Some want to play it safe and play it by the doctor's rules, but some want to play it by their own rules. Some people are so confident in their knowledge of their selves and their body, that they believe they know a better way to turn their health around. Some people think a combination of both will work. The truth is we may have no real control at all. Medication could all be an illusion. Our paths could be planned for us already. Whether we live or die could have been made up back when we were five years old. Do we choose our path? Or is our path chosen for us?


	16. Chapter 16: Putting the Stars Back Up

**Chapter 16:**

**Putting the Stars Back Up In the Sky**

"I'm become more and more worried with each passing day." Kelly was looking down at her stomach which was now showing her pregnancy.

She was now nine months later, which was a blessing, but also a curse. Dylan's time was running out. He was very weak now, but refused to be emitted to the hospital. He sat on the beach all day and looked out at the crashing waves. Every night a few of his friends would help him back inside. The reunion had been a total bust. Steve was proud of one thing, it allowed for Brandon and Gina to meet. She had moved out to Washington a month after everyone left. The last he heard they were now living together and he really felt like he had found the one. He turned to Kelly who was now wearing the engagement ring Dylan had bought for her months back. The way he gave it to her was very romantic. He took her back to the place where they had their first date, he recreated their whole date, and by the end of the night instead of Brenda screaming at them in front of Rick, he proposed once more.

"You can't lose hope. The doctor said six months as a minimum." Steve reassured her as they watched over Dylan who was lying on the beach from the balcony of the beach apartment.

"Does that look like someone who is going to be here a year from now? This could be his last Christmas. You know, he's got to be crazy lying on the beach. It's December, that wind is freezing." Kelly rolled her eyes.

"He told me it allowed him to feel alive. The wind hitting his face reminded him that he could breathe." Steve looked away from Kelly.

"He's going to make himself even sicker, besides it's getting late. It's about time you brought him back inside." Kelly walked inside to go rest; she still wasn't allowed to be moving around a lot.

Steve made his way down towards Dylan, when he reached him he sat down beside him, "Kelly's right, it is freezing down here."

"No kidding." Dylan's teeth chattered.

"She's right; you really shouldn't be hanging down here." Steve cautioned.

"I don't care, what do I have to lose at this point?" Dylan stated morbidly.

"There's no need to weaken yourself. There's no need to cut down on your time. Come on, let's get you inside." He scooped Dylan up in his arms and walked towards the Beach apartment. Once he got him inside he sat him down on the couch.

"Where's Kelly?" Dylan looked around.

"I think she went to bed. Should I bring you in there?" Steve inquired.

"Nah, she won't say it, but I know she's angry with me. I'm not in the mood to deal with it." Dylan put his head on the pillow ready to shut his eyes.

"What is she mad about this time?" Steve sat down on the arm of the couch.

"She wants me in a hospital. She never wanted me to leave the hospital in the first place, but I know I did what was right." Dylan closed his eyes, but was still awake.

"I think she's convinced that if you are having medicine pumped into your body all the time that it'll make you stronger. She might be right."

"Well, maybe, but its quality of life I'm looking for not quantity. I want to spend my days free, not locked up to a machine." Dylan was starting to drift off, but was still aware he was having a conversation.



"What if a heart comes and you're not strong enough for it, because you weren't in a hospital?" Steve wasn't being pushy to be annoying, he just knew that the hard questions needed to be asked, and at this point Kelly wasn't asking them anymore.

"Don't be naïve Steve. My heart doesn't work; there is nothing the hospital can do for me without a heart that does work. I'm better off somewhere that I'm comfortable." Dylan yawned.

"If you say so. I'm going to head home. Donna is in her room if you need anything." Steve got up, patted Dylan's arm, and walked out of the apartment.

Kelly walked out of her room. She had heard everything that they were talking about. She made her way of to Dylan who was close to passing out, and stood in front of him. He could feel someone standing over him, but wasn't sure who it was. He didn't bother to open his eyes and find out.

"I'm not angry with you." Kelly simply announced.

Dylan opened one eye, "Oh yeah, then what's with the attitude you've been giving me all week?"

"That wasn't directed at you. I'm just feeling worn down. I'm not going to pretend that I'm not worried about you. I am worried about you. I don't agree with your decision, but I will respect it. I will trust you." Kelly looked down at him knowing full well that he was too tired to be having a serious conversation like this right now. He was always too tired to be having one like this. She reached over and felt his forehead.

"What are you doing?" He mumbled.

"I'm seeing if you still have a fever," She grabbed his hand to check and see if it was clammy.

"What's the verdict?"

"What do you think?" She smirked and tousled his hair.

"Maybe sitting on a windy beach helped to bring it down." Dylan joked.

"You always have to find some way to make the choices you've made always be right. No one else can be right." She laughed.

"That's funny coming from you." He laughed.

"We're made for each other." Kelly winked.

It was then that the phone rang.

Kelly walked out of the hospital room and over to her friends who were in the waiting room. They all stood up waiting to her a verdict of some kind. They weren't exactly sure why they were there, they were quickly in a panic told to get down there. Donna was the only one in the group that knew, and she was in with Dylan right now, because Kelly did want him lying in there alone.

"What's going on?" David asked concerned.

"I know you've been climbing the walls, I'm sorry about that. I've been talking with Dylan and his doctor for some time. They found a heart for him." Kelly looked happy, but there was still concern in her eyes.

"That's great!" Janet exclaimed.

"You don't look like that's entirely great, why aren't you jumping for joy?" David looked at Kelly curiously.

"He's got a fever." Kelly put her hands on her back for support and looked up at the ceiling.

"So what?" Steve was very confused.

"Having a heart transplant is risky enough, but when the patient's body is weak and he's fighting a fever it can become even riskier." Kelly heaved a sigh.



"Then wait for the fever to break." Steve suggested.

"By then the heart could go back." Janet piped in.

"Exactly, so he's got a choice to make. Take the risk and have surgery with a fever and hope he comes out alive, or wait for his fever to break and hope the heart is still good." Kelly looked at the worried faces her friends had.

"No, he can't wait. If that heart goes bad he doesn't know if he can get another one." David remarked passionately.

"That's exactly what Dylan said." Kelly sat down in a chair.

"You don't agree." Janet turned her head towards her.

"I do agree, I'm terrified," Kelly buried her face in her hands, "as if we haven't been through enough already."

David watched as Janet went over to comfort Kelly, he sighed and walked towards Dylan's hospital room and went in. Steve quickly followed behind David wanting to see Dylan before he had surgery. Both of them were thinking the same thing. It could be the last time they saw their best friend.

Dylan was talking to Donna when Steve and David entered the hospital room. He couldn't help, but smile seeing them. He knew that everyone was on edge, and he himself was nervous, but he didn't want to say it out loud, "It took you guys long enough to get in here and pay me a visit."

"Well excuse us; you practically live here these days, so we figured we could take our sweet time like we normally do when we go over to your house." Steve pretended to be annoyed.

"Oh I wonder if that joke will still be funny when you're burning in hell." Dylan grinned.

"I'm sure it will be, so when are they doing the surgery?" Steve asked curiously.

"As soon as the heart gets here, which shouldn't be long. They're flying it over." Dylan reported.

"Isn't it true that some people like different things or something once they get a new heart?" Donna asked trying to make conversation so it wasn't awkward, or sappy. She knew Dylan would hate sappy.

"I've heard something like that." Dylan replied.

"As long as it doesn't mess with your love for surfing." Steve poked fun.

"I'll rip this new heart out and put my old one back in if that happens." Dylan declared seriously.

David started laughing, "You're all nuts."

A few nurses and doctors walked in the room smiling. They went over to Dylan's bed and started checking things out. Donna, David, and Steve automatically backed up to give them their space. They all knew that Dylan must love the attention and being crowded at that moment. Finally the doctor spoke.

"It's time to have you prepped for surgery."

All his friends wished him good luck and gave him a sweet send off as he was wheeled into the hallway, the stopped in front of Kelly who looked down at him smiling and trying not to cry. Dylan looked up at her feeling the same emotions.

"I love you Smush." Kelly grinned.

"I love you too Red." Dylan smirked.

The doctors and nurses wheeled him off and Kelly and her friends had hours of pacing ahead of them. She went back into the waiting room and sat down wondering if she would be able to breathe for the day that was ahead of them. This was exactly what they had hoped for, but now that it was here, she felt more scared then she had for the past six to seven months they had been waiting. David, Steve, Donna, and Janet all took their seat. After an hour of silence Steve finally broke the tension.

"This is killing me!" Steve practically shouted.



"Steve!" Janet reprimanded.

"I'm sorry, I know that Dylan is sick, but we don't have to torture ourselves with just our own thoughts." Steve stood up and started pacing around.

"Well, would you care to share with the class what it is you would like to talk about?" David sarcastically asked.

Steve glared at him.

Donna started to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Kelly looked up.

"Remember the time we wanted Dylan to be Santa Clause for those kids that Christmas, and he was so appalled by the idea, that we were all chasing him down the hallway!" Donna couldn't control her laughter.

"Oh God, how could I forget that!" Kelly started laughing as well thinking about that horrid situation she was in with Dylan and Brenda at the time.

"Oh wait, what about the time that we went on that God awful camping trip and we got into that debate about the meaning of life…"Steve started.

"Oh yeah! And of course Dylan had to point out in his negative way that life is all about survival." Donna stated in a deep fake "masculine" voice.

Everyone started to laugh, but Janet was a little confused, because she didn't know them from high school. She spoke up, "I'm not going to lie, I think my biggest memory of Dylan is when he knocked Donna in the pool."

Donna laughed a little, "awww poor Dylan."

"Poor Dylan," David practically shouted, "he almost killed you!"

"Oh, he didn't do it on purpose. It was an accident. His wife had been shot; you might do drugs to if you went through something like that." Donna quickly defended him.

"He's had his trials and tribulations, and has crushed them all." Kelly stated proudly.

"Hopefully, we'll be able to say that after the end of today." David looked off to the side.

The room fell silent. The memories were bittersweet to think about, and all they could do was hope that tomorrow when they thought about these same things it would be in happiness and not in mourning.

Kelly quickly felt her stomach, "Oh my God!"

"What?" Janet sat up alerted.

"I think I'm going into labor!" Kelly shouted.

She was in fact going into labor. They quickly got her a doctor and rushed her up to the OB. She was lucky to make it up there on time. The baby was not waiting any longer.

"Oh God! This can't be happening! Dylan can't miss this!" Kelly screamed.

"He won't! You hold that baby!" David quickly dashed towards the hospital stairs.

"Oh I'll do my best there David!" Kelly yelled after him.

She was getting ready to start pushing by the time he back. David ran in the room with his old video camera from high school.

"Where on earth did you find that thing?" Donna looked at it almost in disgust.

"Oh it was in the back of my car." David nonchalantly replied.

"Why?" Steve looked confused.

"Is it really the time for this?" Kelly questioned.

They all turned their attention back to Kelly as she had her baby; David caught everything on tape for Dylan to see when he woke up. David was more sure than ever that he would wake up. With every death there is life, but David knew that God couldn't be so cruel to have it be Dylan's death that started this life.



Hours passed and Kelly held her baby girl waiting to hear from the doctor. She looked at her baby with love, she had always wanted to become a mother one day, but she wanted the father by her side. Even though the birth had been videotaped for Dylan it was still not the same. She knew that he would have wanted to be there, but things in life don't always work out the way you plan them to. The truth was, most things in life don't work out the way you plan them to. The doctor finally walked in her hospital room, she sat up straight trying to read the expression on his face. Her heart was pounding a mile a minute, she felt like she was going to pass out waiting for the news. When the doctor smiled, her heart skipped a beat.

"Dylan was an excellent patient. He's in recovery right now sleeping. His body is weak, and he'll need to be here for awhile Kelly, but I'm certain that he'll be just fine. You can see him in a little while," The doctor looked at the baby, "she looks like him."

Kelly smiled, "Yes, she does. Thank you so much for saving him."

"You don't have to thank me; I became a doctor to do just that," He nodded his head towards their daughter, "Congratulations."

Dylan woke up and looked around the hospital room. He wasn't sure if he was dead or alive, if this was heaven, he was honestly considering checking out to see what hell looked like. Just then he saw Steve standing over him.

_Maybe this is hell after all._

"Hey Buddy, how are you feeling?" Steve asked softly.

"Tired, how are you feeling honey?" Dylan smiled.

Steve looked at David horrified.

"Meds Steve Meds." David answered calmly.

"Oh right."

Donna walked closer to Dylan and took his hand, "Dylan, there's someone we think you should meet."

Janet wheeled Kelly over in her wheelchair, and Kelly smiled at Dylan and then down at the baby.

Dylan lifted his head up a little to see what Kelly was holding. He looked confused, he wasn't piecing it together as quickly as Kelly thought he might. The medication really was taking a toll on him.

"Sweetheart, this is our daughter," Kelly smiled, "Why don't you hold her?"

Steve took the baby and laid her on Dylan so he could rest comfortably along with the baby.

Dylan looked down at the baby and smiled, "We're not naming her Steve."

Kelly laughed, "No silly, that's what we have to name our first born son."

Steve grinned, "You remembered!"

"That's why he said it," Kelly laughed.

"I know, but you still remembered. I even forgot about that." Steve laughed.

"Oh my God, I can't believe you two are actually parents!" Donna was practically jumping up and down from excitement.

"I always knew that Dylan would make a great dad, ever since he babysat my little sister." Kelly grinned.

"Really? Even after the advice I gave her?" Dylan smiled down at his daughter. He couldn't remember a time that he had felt happier.

"It wasn't bad advice per say, but it's not advice you'll be giving our baby." Kelly laughed.

"What are you going to call if not Steve?" David jokingly asked liked he was shocked that the name Steve was out of the question.

"We decided a few months back that if we had a girl that we were going to name her Antonia." Dylan answered with a heavy heart.

No one stated anything else, they just watched as Dylan held his baby girl. Kelly watched from the side of the bed feeling at peace, because her family was finally okay.

Dylan and Kelly were married right when Dylan was released from the hospital. They couldn't wait any longer; they wanted to be husband and wife once and for all. They did have that baby boy named Steve three years later. That wasn't all though, six years after that Kelly discovered that she pregnant with twin girls whom they named Leah and Crystal. They had a big family, a family they both had longed for growing up. They didn't have the love they needed growing up, but they did better for their kids. One day when their kids were grown they would look back at their childhood and wish they could give their kids half the bliss that Dylan and Kelly bestowed upon them.

You can try your whole life to plan things out. You can fear the unknown and worry about what your future holds. It never will do any good. Life is going to do whatever it is that it's going to do. Real strength comes from making a happy ending for yourself when there are kinks in the plan. You've got to fight it, you've got to control it, you've got to take back your life. You've got to trust your instincts, and trust that you know what you're doing. You have to believe that when the world is burning down that you can put the stars back up in the sky. At least that way when the world is falling apart, you've got something peaceful to keep your eye on. You've got hope, because without hope, you've got only the guarantee that everything will come apart.

* * *

**Thank you to everyone who read my story. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I loved writing it. I do plan on writing more, so I hope that you'll check out any future stories I write. Thank you again!  
**


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